oo  The Official Footguy FAQ
              <|>          v1.3
              _|_      Part 1 of 17

[-------------------------------------------------------------------]

Q1. Who is Footguy?
A1. He's a guy who taps his foot. His original appearance was in LameNESS #7.

Q2. Who created Footguy?
A2. Armchair Rambo (rambo@waste.org) developed Footguy during a rare 
    attack of creative genius.

Q3. Who created Footguy for the Mac?
A3. Craig Hughes (hughescr@leland.stanford.edu) created Footguy for the 
    Macintosh during an episode of amazing intellectual adeptness.

Q4. Who created Footguy for UNIX?
A4. Oxymoron (oxymoron@waste.org) did during a fit of boredom.

Q5. Who wrote the one line version of Footguy?
A5. Oxymoron did, he was really bored.

Q6. Who created Footguy for WWW?
A6. Oxymoron did. I said he was bored, didn't I?

Q7. Who wrote this FAQ?
A7. Oxymoron. Who else has that much time on their hands?

Q8. Why isn't this FAQ in HTML?
A8. Because FAQs are supposed to be boring.

Q9. Why does Footguy have two heads?
A9. Those are his eyes! Duh!

Q10. Why does he like to give people the finger? Where did he get that 
     attitude?
A10. I dunno. Perhaps if you send him email at footguy@waste.org, 
     he'll tell you.

Q11. Why doesn't he do anything, he just stands there! I thought he was
     supposed to do something!
A11. Are you using Netscape 1.1? Dumbass.

Q12. Why does he tap his foot so slowly?
A12. Because he's bored with your dumbass questions. Did you read the
     instructions?

Q13. What is the world record for watching Footguy?

A13. The current record is 14 hours and 43 minutes by
     kson@wired.jolt.com. If you beat this record, you can report it to
     footguy@waste.org. We'll confirm it in our logs and put your name on the
     Footguy page! 

Q14. How many versions of Footguy are there?
A14. There are 5 versions for DOS, including Color Footguy. There are two 
     versions for UNIX, including One Line Footguy as well a Windows version.

Q15. How can I get Footguy?
A15. Send $50 to 

	Lamers
	PO BOX 9353
	Minneapolis MN 55417

     If we're in a good mood, we'll tell you the name of the anonymous FTP
     site or web server you can download it from.

Q16. How do I register Footguy?
A16. If you use Footguy on your system, send mail to lamers@waste.org and ask
     for your free registration code.

Q17. When will Footguy 2.0 be released?
A17. The LameNESS development team is currently hard at work on Footguy 2.0. 
     It is currently scheduled to be released in 3rd quarter '95.
     All currently registered users will receive a free upgrade by email.
     Footguy 2.0 will be based on the DOOM engine and will require a minimum
     configuration of a 386 with 4M of RAM. The preferred configuration
     is a Pentium-100 with 32M of RAM, a 4M video card, 9 gigs of disk space,
     a T1 net link, and an Ad Lib sound board.

Q18. Why did I just read this whole thing?
A18. Admit it, you have no life.  Now stare at this thing until you have 
     a headache.

[-------------------------------------------------------------------]
                           Footguy in 3-D

 #      #      #      #      #      #      #      #      #      #      
    #      #      #      #      #      #      #      #      #      #      
 #      #      #      #      #      #      #      #      #      #      
      oo    oo    oo    oo    oo    oo    oo    oo    oo    oo
     <|>   <|>   <|>   <|>   <|>   <|>   <|>   <|>   <|>   <|>   
     _|_   _|_   _|_   _|_   _|_   _|_   _|_   _|_   _|_   _|_   
 #      #      #      #      #      #      #      #      #      #      
    #      #      #      #      #      #      #      #      #      #      
 #      #      #      #      #      #      #      #      #      #      

                               O    O

[-------------------------------------------------------------------]