wallace-l: DFW suicide?

[RS]

I was watching the finals of the US Open tennis tournament a few weeks ago, and the moment Roger Federer won the tournament, after having had a particularly tumultuous year, I thought of how it might've put a smile on Dave's face, to see his guy (and mine too) back on top again.

Matt, it's SecondFate, was a regular here a few years ago.  Please tell me how to subscribe again, or could anyone post a link?  I'm too f'ed up to even figure out where to get this information.

I called off work today... told them my favorite writer took his life and that if it seemed too bizarre, fabricated, or too far outside company guidelines to reasonably call off, that they could find someone else.  They would understanding and said not to worry about it.  Can't believe I did that, but I talked to them only minutes after having found out, a brief period in which everything seemed dark and absolutely pointless anyway.

The impact this is having on me is tremendously unexpected, but the tears won't stop.  And I have neither read Wallace's work, this forum, or posted here in ages, but it means a lot to not be alone through this, suffering mightily with those I've come to appreciate and respect over the years.

Never believed much in god, but now, I'm hoping there's something more for him.  Something better.

Does anyone know where services will be held or whether there will be a public reception anywhere?  I'm ready to gather up his books on tape for my CD player and drive to just about anywhere.

-----Original Message-----
From: wallace-l-bounces at waste.org [mailto:wallace-l-bounces at waste.org] On Behalf Of Marie Mundaca
Sent: Monday, September 15, 2008 12:11 PM
To: wallace-l; Joe Nickerson
Subject: Re: wallace-l: DFW suicide?

You're definitely not alone. I'm having a hard time dealing today, and besides being at work and having a midterm on Sat that I need to study for, I agreed to write a remembrance for the website I write for. And it's hard. I just keep stopping and thinking about how much pain he was in and how no one could help him and it's devastating. Before I knew all the details I said to my BF that I wished he'd just checked himself into some super-nice facility. But now we know he already went this route with the ECT, etc. I'm so angry at the AMA and all those goddamn shrinks out there how act so nonchalant about people's response to meds. No one should be able to treat another person with this disease unless they've stood at this precipice themselves and looked at that blank abyss and knew it might be preferable to the psychic pain they felt. 

I felt so honored to live in a world where a David Foster Wallace was alive and writing. It felt like a privilege to share the planet with the likes of him.

Joe, Dave would not want us to feel depressed. He's been released from his pain and we should celebrate his life.

big hugs, marie


--- On Mon, 9/15/08, Joe Nickerson <jnickerson27 at gmail.com> wrote:

> From: Joe Nickerson <jnickerson27 at gmail.com>
> Subject: Re: wallace-l: DFW suicide?
> To: "wallace-l" <wallace-l at waste.org>
> Date: Monday, September 15, 2008, 11:51 AM
> I have taken quite a bit of consolation from each and every
> post  however,
> am I alone in feeling deeply, deeply disturbed and
> bone-marrow-deep
> depressed and despondent?
> 
> 
> 
> Aside from family members, I have never felt such sorrow
> related to the
> death of someone I did not personally know  though,
> perhaps that is not
> entirely accurate. Given the depth of emotion and human
> decency David often
> shared, and the extent to which I often live in my own
> head, on some level,
> I perhaps had a deeper, more intimate relationship with
> Wallace than I had
> or have with friends and family  both living and
> deceased.
> 
> 
> It is with a profound sense of sadness for David, as both a
> person and a
> writer, that I feel safe in stating we may never see the
> likes of him again
>  at least not within my lifetime. People like him, folks
> who seem to posses
> a preternatural ability to look at life and see through the
> bullshit, don't
> come around too often - and what's worse, they appear
> to be leaving this
> planet at an ever-increasing pace. Wallace was (and is) my
> Twain, that
> terrifyingly gifted writer and thinker whose novel's
> and essay's contain,
> within, the promise of redemption.
> 
> Ugh -
> 
> joe
> _______________________________________________
> Wallace-l mailing list
> Wallace-l at waste.org
> https://waste.org/mailman/listinfo/wallace-l


      

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