one box of short pasta (~4.5 cups)
1/2 cup margarine
1/2 cup flour
2 tsp salt
2 tsp garlic powder
a pinch of turmeric
2 tbsp good shoyu or tamari soy sauce
1 cup nutritional yeast flakes
1 tbsp oil
1 or 2 peppers, chopped (we prefer Annaheims) optional
Paprika to taste
Start boiling water in a pot for your noodles. Add a pinch of salt, but no oil. Oil is wrong. Also start boiling exactly 3 cups of water in a teapot for making the sauce.
Measure out ingredients while waiting for water to boil. Or stand around like an idiot and then panic later. Your choice. What? You didn't read this far until after the water was boiling? Fool.
When water is boiling, begin cooking your noodles, stirring occassionally. Macaroni is one option, but I prefer radiatori. You can turn down the teapot when it starts to boil, cuz you won't need it for a couple minutes yet.
In a medium saucepan, melt margarine over medium heat. Smart kids will probably use EarthBalance here, which has no transfats but still tastes good. Whisk in flour. When it has reached an even, bubbly consistency, whisk in boiling water from teapot. Reduce heat to low. Stir until smooth again and add garlic, salt, turmeric, and soy sauce. Then fold in nutritional yeast flakes and oil and stir until smooth. If you just added a cup of nutritional yeast powder or, worse yet, brewer's yeast, you've probably just made your dinner inedible. Eat it anyway as punishment for not following directions. Mix the peppers in.
If your timing is good, the macaroni should be finished now. When it's done, drain it in a collander and shake the excess water out quickly. Pour all the macaroni back into the pot, then mix in the sauce. Don't burn yourself on the pot or you'll feel stupid. You could use a fancy casserole dish or something, but that's just one more dish to clean. Whatever. It's your dinner, do it however you want. Sprinkle paprika on top.
Cook for 15 minutes at 350F and then for 5 minutes on "broil". Don't sit around. Wash the dishes while you're waiting - that saucepan will be hard to clean later. Might as well put away all the ingredients you left out too. Serve with fresh-ground pepper, maybe some diced tomato, even some sprouts. Do not serve with ketchup, broccoli, or veggie franks unless you're some sort of freak. Freak.