Here come tha Mothership..

[Ted Samsel]

>From elsewhere...

> >Date: 97-02-24 16:13:47 EST
> >
> >
> >Now that Elvis has left the building....
> > ----------
> >ROSEMONT, IL--Confusion and awkwardness resulted Monday when the P-Funk 
> >Mothership, outer-space chariot of Dr. Funkenstein and the Star Child, 
> >accidentally descended upon a sold-out Hootie and the Blowfish concert at 
> >the Rosemont Horizon arena in suburban Chicago.
> >
> >"Thumpasaurus Peoples! You have summoned us through the Groove, and we 
> >have returned to refunkatize the planet!" said Dr. Funkenstein, the 
> >fur-bedecked, disco-booted Mothership Supreme Commander, moments before
> >the popular South Carolina-based band was about to launch into the
> >song "I Only Wanna Be With You."
> >
> >Members of Hootie and the Blowfish, whose 1995 release Cracked Rear View 
> >sold over 14 million copies, were caught off guard by the arrival of the 
> >Mothership.
> >
> >"The man who came out of the spaceship attempted to shoot me with 
> >something he called a 'Bop Gun,'" lead singer Darius Rucker told
reporters. 
> >"Somehow I 
> >sensed it would be detrimental to my career as a singer."
> >
> >Added a visibly distressed Rucker: "He also seemed to imply that if I let 
> >my mind go free, something would happen to my bottom."
> >
> >Bandmate Dean Felber was equally disturbed by the appearance of the 
> >cosmic visitors. "Their mode of dress was, frankly, garish," Felber told 
> >reporters, "not at all like the muted, earth-tone flannels and
> >oversized cable-knit sweaters appropriate for concert wear."
> >
> >Sources speculate that an inadvertent hip shake by Rucker, who briefly 
> >lost his balance stumbling over a stray mandolin, may have accidentally 
> >summoned the Mothership.
> >
> >It is also speculated that Rucker's powerful baritone voice may have 
> >exceeded Hootie and the Blowfish's normal safety standards for "bass," 
> >inadvertently summoning the intergalactic funk saucer.
> >
> >Said band member Mark Bryan, "We had just finished a really super 
> >rendition of 'Let Her Cry' that sounded exactly like on the CD, when
> >out of nowhere these strange men came down shouting about getting up 
> >and doing the backstroke, or something."
> >
> >According to police, no serious damage was caused by the incident, but it 
> >did result in a 45-minute concert delay, causing many in attendance to go 
> >to bed later than they had wanted to.
> >
> >"I had a 9 a.m. meeting the next day with a very important client," said 
> >concertgoer/stockbroker James Norridge, 42, who did not go to sleep until 
> >well after midnight. "I really needed to be at the top of my game."
> >
> >Norridge's disappointment was typical of the 17,456 whites in attendance.
> >
> >"I did not wish to get 'funked up,'" said Roger Kleist, 33. "If I did,
> >I would have attended a Dave Matthews Band concert.

Ted Samsel....tejas at infi.net 
  "I want the frimfram sauce with the orson-fay
         and chifaffa on the side...."