Human Canoe

[Andrew S. Chesnick]

A Frenchman, an Englishman and a New Yorker were captured by cannibals.

The chief comes to them and says, "The bad news is that now we've caught
you 
and we're going to kill you.  We will put you in a pot, cook you, eat
you and 
then we're going to use your skins to build a canoe. The good news is
that 
you can choose how to die."

The Frenchman says, "I take ze sword."

The chief gives him a sword, the Frenchman says, "Vive la France!" and
runs 
himself through.

The Englishman says, "a pistol for me please."

The chief gives him a pistol, the Englishman points it at his head and
says, 
"God save the queen!" and blows his brains out.

The New Yorker says, "Gimme a fork."

The chief is puzzled, but he shrugs and gives him a fork.  The New
Yorker 
takes 
the fork and starts jabbing himself all over--the stomach, the sides,
the 
chest, everywhere.  There is blood gushing out all over, it's horrible.
The 
chief is appalled and asks, "My God, what are you doing?"  And the New
Yorker 
responds, "So much for your canoe you stupid &%#%#*@!"