Competent Writing Skills (was Re: teacher rants)

[Joe Varo]

On Mon, 14 Jul 1997, David Casseres wrote:

[...]
> >> "Summer afternoons when the tar bubbles bloom in the road wild daisies
> >> beckon girls to seek petal fortunes and weave chains of fragrant dreams."
[...]

> Leave it to a once-upon-a-time editor like me to butt in:

Butt away...I was hoping that a "pro", or at least a former pro would
chime in on this.

> The word "On"  is elided from the beginning of the sentence, as in the
> great Walt Kelly's sentence "Some days I'm just too lazy to call a spade
> a spade."  Leaving something like that to be "understood" is pretty
> common practice.
>
>  A comma after "road" would make the sentence easier to read, but a 
> writer may well and legitimately choose to leave out such a comma for 
> reasons of effect.  In this sentence it gives a certain wantonness, 
> appropriate to the topic, and (more important) it strengthens the 
> juxtaposition of those tar bubbles blooming against the daises.  I like 
> it.

Okay, David...I guess I'll accept your word on this, and stand corrected
on this.  But I still think that the sentence sounds horrendous,
especially without the commas.

> By the way, "good teeth boys" would be clearer if written "good-teeth 
> boys," boys with good teeth.  Just a slightly twisted idiom.

Actually, I would have preferred "boys with straight white teeth", at
least in the full context of this essay.

> Context is all.
[...]

Yup.  If I were up for a flame, I'd post the whole thing, but as it is I
think I'll just let this one die, and slink off into a corner somewhere.

Joe