enough is enough!

[Charles F. Albert]

Dear Vaska,
I want to issue an unqualified apology if my choice of words offended 
you, and by extension any other woman on this list. It is unfortunate 
that this obscured my point, which, I assure you, is consistent with 
your ideals.  I am even more distressed that this has flared up into 
an ugly scene with Andrew. My cheap rhetorical tactic should not 
serve to tarnish this sincerely good man. 

My argument rests on the following assumption:
women don't need to be coddled.
This is conditioned by a lifetime of experience entirely bereft of 
weak women models. I can't think of one in my family. My father spoke 
with great respect of my mother's "fast hands", my grandmother had 
everything it took to run the world except the opportunity, I had an 
"aunt" who translated fiction and poetry from one to another in any 
of five languages; until she died, I firmly believed that Barbara 
Jordan was the ABLEST person in the country.
Whatever their circumstances and restrictions, none of them ever hid 
behind their gender.
I am not insensitive to the oppression of women. The reason I have 
taken a few shots at Korea on this list has everything to do with 
their barbaric view of the role and place of women. That experience 
not only gave me a greater appreciation for the struggle, but also 
made me much less tolerant of what I consider to be the excesses of 
"gyno-vision".  For example, heterosexual men have very little to do 
with the notion that Kate Moss represents some physical ideal. When 
women engage in behaviour that leads to eating disorders, it is not 
a reflection of male hegemony, it is a sad statement competition 
BETWEEN WOMEN. Domestic violence is not a symptom of male domination, 
it is a common part of the relationship dynamics of ANY two 
personality types, REGARDLESS OF GENDER. What makes the man on woman 
version of it so horrifying are the consequences of the differences 
in emotional response and physical disparities. Homosexuals beat 
eachother, lesbians do as well as heteros. If we wish to address 
destructive pathologies, it does us no good to further solutions 
founded on false premises. The fact is these matters should still be 
debatable without seeing malice in the mere inspection of accepted 
dogma. 
My life's experience has taught me that women are formidable 
opponents. Yes, I say opponents because there are differences between 
the sexes that to some degree condition behaviour. The truth of this 
became apparent to me one day when I cried on my dad's shoulder and 
complained about an affair going bad. In response to my comment that 
"women did not understand concepts like honor and loyalty", my old 
man chuckled and said"Women ARE different, son. If you want somebody 
just like you, you'll have to become a homosexual." Celebrating that 
difference does not extend to qualifying such.

But the bottom line is that harmony between two exceptional resources 
like Vaska and Dinn is far more important than Chuckie's debating 
points. Thanks to those of you who took ANY side in this debate, but 
particularly those kind women who spoke up in defense of my point.

Now as for that sans onions Musikar - can there be anything so 
patronizing as one who volunteers his aid to those who flourish without 
it? As to my being a coward - I'll yank your ass around some of the 
furnishings in here by that pretentious dork knob of yours. Spare me 
your pathetic non mots.

Sorry to waste the bandwidth,
cfa