Why did the chicken cross the road?

[Henry Musikar]

------- Forwarded Message Follows -------
From:          Tobe_L_Mizels at cybercash.com
To:            gravity at nicom.com
Date:          Tue, 10 Jun 1997 12:32:21 -0400
Subject:       Why did the chicken cross the road?





Why did the chicken cross the road?
     Pat Buchanan: To steal a job from a decent, hard-working
     American. Machiavelli: The point is that the chicken crossed the
     road.  Who
cares why? The ends of crossing the road justify whatever motive there
was.
     John Locke: Because he was exercising his natural right to
     liberty. Albert Camus: It doesn't matter; the chicken's actions
     have no meaning
except to him.
     The Bible: And God came down from the heavens, and He said unto
     the
Chicken, "Thou shalt cross the road." And the Chicken crossed the
road, and there was much rejoicing.
     Fox Mulder: It was a government conspiracy.
     Freud: The fact that you thought that the chicken crossed the
     road
reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.
     Darwin: Chickens, over great periods of time, have been naturally
selected in such a way that they are now genetically dispositioned to
cross roads.
     Richard M. Nixon: The chicken did not cross the road. I repeat,
     the
chicken did not cross the road.
     Oliver Stone: The question is not "Why did the chicken cross the
road?" but is rather "Who was crossing the road at the same time whom
we overlooked in our haste to observe the chicken crossing?"
     Jerry Seinfeld: Why does anyone cross a road? I mean, why doesn't
anyone ever think to ask, "What the heck was this chicken doing
walking around all over the place anyway?"
     The Pope: That is only for God to know.
     Louis Farrakhan: The road, you will see, represents the black
     man.
The chicken crossed the "black man" in order to trample him and keep
him down.
     Martin Luther King, Jr.: I envision a world where all chickens
     will be
free to cross roads without having their motives called into question.
     Immanuel Kant: The chicken, being an autonomous being, chose to
     cross
the road of his own free will.
     Grandpa: In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the
     road.
Someone told us that the chicken had crossed the road, and that was
good enough for us.
     Dirk Gently (Holistic Detective): I'm not exactly sure why, but
     right
now I've got a horse in my bathroom.
     Erich Maria Remarque: The chicken crossed the road because, after
     his
experience with war, he no longer felt at home in his home.
     Bill Gates: I have just released the new Chicken 2000, which will
     both
cross roads AND balance your checkbook, though when it  divides 3 by 2
it gets 1.4999999999.
     M.C.Escher: That depends on which plane of reality the chicken
     was on
at the time.
     George Orwell: Because the government had fooled him into
     thinking
that he was crossing the road of his own free will, when he was really
only serving their interests.
     Colonel Sanders: I missed one?
     Plato: For the greater good.
     Karl Marx: It was a historical inevitability.
     Nietzsche: Because if you gaze too long across the Road, the Road
gazes also across you.
     B.F. Skinner: Because the external influences, which had pervaded
     its
sensorium from birth, had caused it to develop in such a fashion that
it would tend to cross roads, even while believing these actions to be
of its own freewill.
     Jean-Paul Sartre: In order to act in good faith and be true
     toitself,
the chicken found it necessary to cross the road.
     Albert Einstein: Whether the chicken crossed the road or the road
crossed the chicken depends upon your frame of reference.
     Pyrrho the Skeptic: What road?
     The Sphinx: You tell me.
     Buddha: If you ask this question, you deny your own chicken
     nature. Emily Dickenson: Because it could not stop for death.
     Ralph Waldo Emerson: It didn't cross the road; it transcended it.
     Ernest Hemingway: To die. In the rain.
     Pynchon: To avoid the CNN Camera

AsB4,
Henry Musikar

Keep cool, but care. -- TRP
Moderation in moderation. -- Husky Mariner
DON'T PANIC! -- Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy
What, me worry? -- A. E. Newman