My profound aplogies to Mr. Peter Giordano

Tue May 6 08:31:32 CDT 1997

Note: I inadvertantly posted my reply to the last message about me from Mr.
Peter Giordano <Peter.Giordano at williams.edu> to him rather than the list:

At 02:57 PM 05/5/97 -0400, Peter Giordano <Peter.Giordano at williams.edu> wrote:
>One could argue that the internet is a perfect place: to commit fraud, to
inflate a resume, to be vicious and insulting because there is no
accountability, to find attention because the real world won't pay attention
to your BS, to promote fantasy as fact, etc.

Glad to see your confession here, Peter. Now stop doing these things and go
on to demonstrating your talent in effective ways, such as actually getting
a book published.

I just received the following response from him:

>Since you were told specificly that your messages to me are unwelcome your
actions can now be considered harrassment -Therefore I will be making
contact with the proper authorities -

>P.S. Courts have held that this sort of thing is the same as telephone
harrassment and the law is enforceable -As you are about to find out

I am genuinely sorry for any inconvenience that this has caused Mr.
Giordano, who is a prince. I am terrified of any being sued by his lawyers
here in Cancun and I am sure that Dale L. Larson is shaking in fear right
now. I truly hope that by posting this apology and explanation I will induce
Mr. Giordano from proceeding with his legal action against me. I also feel
that it is necessary to post to the list the original letter that caused him
to warn me about sending him any more harrassing messsages. I am profoundly
sorry that I sent this to him privately and I hope that he will now go away
and stop bothering me.

Forwarded text of insulting private e-mail message
--------------------------------------------------

The only reason I am answering your latest stupid message is that I am in a
bad mood and I feel like dumping on someone. You're elected, Giordano. Just
be happy I don't do it in public where I'd be showing off and really rip
your face off.

At 03:28 PM 04/30/97 -0400, you wrote:

>Gee, Jules, maybe you could actually crack open a book once in awhile - The
history of publishing is well documented and has very little to do with the
self-engrandizingpipe dreams you're spouting 

I'm glad you feel free to make these statements from the safety of your
ivory tower, but I'm going to be very blunt here and tell you that you are
full of shit. You don't know anything about publishing except what you've
heard around the campus and read in Kirkus. You offer no names, no
documentation, just "imagine" and "suspicion." If you were taking a test,
you'd get an F.

I happen to have worked in publishing and know many publishers. I was the
publicist for the first American edition of the Guinness Book of World
Records and was one of those credited with making it a success. My friends
included some of the biggest names in writing. I've been a consultant and
writer for the biggest magazines in the world and I have interviewed the
biggest stars. My dumbest enemies are better connected than your best friends.

I have been represented by two of the most important literary agents in the
world. I've received fan letters from two Nobel Prize winners. I have been
told that two of my books are in the Franklin Furnace Archive of the Museum
of Modern Art. Since you're a librarian, you can check that out and let me
know what you find out.

[Note: This is the source of his comment about "inflating" my resume, I
guess. Actually, I don't know for sure that "Record" and "Memoir" are in the
Franklin Furnace Archive at the Museum of Modern Art. I do know that they
were in the Archive before it was acquired by MOMA. I was hoping to get Mr.
Giordano to do my research for me, but he didn't fall for the trick. Very
astute fellow.]

>If you were published by a real publisher you would have been told that
there is nothing, absolutely nothing, innovative about your "book"

Since you don't know any real publishers you can make stupid statements
about this. No "real" publisher would publish "Lineland" precisely because
it is so innovative. More than that, you are just some Establishment toady
pretending that you can tell the difference between a "real" publisher and
one who isn't. Tell me when you were in the reception area of *any*
publisher, much less in the offices of the editors in chief of the biggest
publishers in the world. Name one publisher or editor who will take a call
from you or answer your letter or even agree to read your book-length
manuscript.

More than that, you are dead wrong, because when I do offer my work to be
read the answer is always the same, "This is really wonderful and I enjoyed
reading it, but it's too far ahead of the market."

Your answer to this will be, "Oh sure. Show me these answers." My answer is
I don't have to. If I felt like it, I could give you some telephone numbers
and let you call and let them tell you how they feel about me and why the
love me or hate me. Why should I let you have a single one of my contacts?
You think I'm boasting, but you can't even make a credible boast. I doubt
that you've ever been so much as rejected by a "real" publisher much less
had a book published by one of them. 

More than that, you'll notice that in the serious replies I did get, no one
came up with the name of a work produced in this century by a major
publishing company. They had to stretch for comparisons. Things like how-to
manuals and online projects by graduate students were mentioned. The most
that could be said is that there are some other books that were either
self-published or, like mine, published by small presses that resemble
"Lineland" in some ways.

[Note: Very valuable information did come in later after I wrote this.
Lineland isn't alone, but it's among the pioneers in a very interesting new
trend.]

Please don't write me any more dumb letters until you go out and get an
essay on publishing accepted by Publisher's Weekly, the New York Review of
Books or the Village Voice or anything at all in any publication on the list
that follows my CV. and then tell me how easy it is to do it. Meanwhile,
read the following CV and list of just the credits I consider significant
and tell me where you rate in this at all (I'm sure you can supply the
missing foreign character accents if they drop out). When you get a chance,
send me yours and we'll compare accomplishments. At this point, I doubt that
you could even get an assignment to write a nasty review of "Lineland" for
your local shopper, much less a "real" publication.

[Followed by complete CV, clearly a harrassing tactic.]

--
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