various goodbyes--another word from our sponsor

[Christine Karatnytsky]

Vaska, I don't think you've done a very good job of paying attention.

One last time:  I tried to get through our mutual anger to make some
connection with you off-list because I believe that to be the appropriate
forum for non-list business.  I have been taught that this is the desired
norm of the cyber-universe by more than one listserv mentor.  I fail to
see what is so difficult to comprehend about a fundamental tenet of list
etiquette.  Yet, you continue to label it as harmful.  I repeat:  This
isn't therapy. 

As I have said, I quite possibly could have done a better job of mending
fences with you, though your tendency towards willful misreading would
make it hard for Leo Buscaglia, the Mahatma Gandhi, and the Wizard of Oz
combined--or the mediator/miracle maker of your choice.  Regrettably, the
only thing accomplished was an exacerbation of our tender situation to
the point where you have described my off-list actions as "sneaky,"
"semi-sicko," and "hypocritical," among several other choice terms.  If
this can't be described as "nasty, snide or mean-spirited," then you need
more than a reality check, my dear.  You should read your previous
*public* message to me (forget about your *private* biliousness) for its
bottom-line assumptions.  Your incredulity about why I would be angry
with you after this, not to mention hurt, is stunning.

Your willingness to presume bad faith is as painful as it is confounding.
 Your readiness to attack when I have said that I wanted to be left alone
is bullying.  Your pattern of quoting private mail in a public forum when
you have been expressly informed by the folks here that this is an
unacceptable transgression is contemptuous, not only of me but of them. 

Let me tell you that my previous efforts to untangle misunderstandings,
to express anger, and to repair relationships in the off-list forum have
all ended successfully.  Even Dana, who may have had more cause to be
upset with me than anyone, has accepted my offer of friendship along with
my explanations for past actions.  You are the only person who treats a
private exchange with  suspicion and disdain.  You think this muddies the
waters.  I don't know why.  What's more, I don't care to know.  I gave it
my best shot.  You may have felt attacked because I was angry, but I was
attempting to do discreetly what you want to make available for all to
see.  As this is inappropriate, it ain't my style.

This is my last post on the matter and I ask you respectfully to observe
my wishes and let it drop.  If you continue to pursue it, I won't reply. 
I attempted to straighten things out with you as I was most comfortably
able.  I won't continue to allow you to denigrate my honest efforts with
your small-minded nastiness by making another offer to work through this
off-list, and this issue is no longer important enough to me to make it
worth getting flamed by working through it *on-list*.  

Chris