The raging DFW debate

[Jane Grant]

Since you're on the DFW List, MAD, maybe you can refute this rumor. I have it on good authority from an online journalist who is not Doug that not only has DFW been a Lurker on the P-List, but that he was almost certainly Kurt Wagner and Slamming Steve, and that the proof of these aliases will only be revealed in his next Novel, about which it is rumored the Internet, and discussion groups in particular, plays a significant role in Volume IX. Whew! What a heroic sentence! It's not quite Rick Moody, but he's physically shorter than me anyway.
   Furthermore, MAD, I've heard that this Novel is not only vastly ambitious, which you'd expect from DFW, but that, in the grand style of Pierre Menard, it's to be a fictional version of The World Book Encyclopedia, which you might or might not expect from DFW. Reportedly, the Novel comprises 27 fat volumes of ultra-fine print with accompanying electron microscope, halogen book lamp, coupons to participating ophthalmologists, and vouchers to the class-action lawsuit of your choice (to be adjudicated by Judge Mills Lane or Judge Joe Brown [your choice again!]). Volumes will be awarded free with purchases of over $75 at Walgreen and Price Chopper Megalo-Marts (subject to availability). Apparently, IJ is to be included in the Novel as an appendix! Wow! The NIH has already allocated $40 billion to hybridize and clone Tom LeClair and Frederick Karl so that sufficient critical analysis of the Novel will be available by the Year of the Foster Wallace Lager. Additionally, high-ranking officials close to Michiko Kakutani report that the Novel is certain to win every major literary prize after which time DFW will be appointed King of Zembla, Literature will be declared officially dead, History will cease to exist, and we will all live happily ever after in a Virtual Heaven limned with happy little clouds painted in the shape of dancing Teletubbies by Ross. Music will be provided by Jerry Garcia on electric harp accompanied by Tommy "Strings" Pynchon and the Wheeler-ettes on ukes and vibes.
   I, for one, can't wait to the Apocalypse! Apocalypse Now! Apocalypse Forever!!

Jane (didn't take her Eskalith this morning, does it show?)

In the spirit of Road Rules vs. The Real World, is anybody interested in getting a DFW-List vs. P-List challenge going? I say let's graffiti some winnebagoes and do water sports together. I volunteer for the bungee jump against Nathan. 
--

On Mon, 14 Dec 1998 21:04:15   Mark A. Douglas wrote:
>Mr Maus, little MalignD, the wallace list has been boring lately.  Once the
>"Is DFW a homophobe?" debate ended in tears for many of the participants, we
>all lost speed.  The Premier article failed to have a lasting effect on its
>readers, and DFW is not an author that invites re-read, certainly does not
>invite something as intricate as the readings that happen on Pynchon and
>Gaddis (sadly lamented, at the moment, those darned servers).  Anyway, so I
>was just thinking:  you guys (MalignD, I have no idea:  if you're a
>girl--which is okay--, the whole 'guys' thing is just figurative) want to
>join for a while?
>
>Just a thought to while away the love,
>
>Mark A. Douglas
>
>madness at airmail.net
>
>
>
>
>


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