Fw: Gilbert and the NGs

[rj]

A friend (yes, I do have some) posted this to me. As it's somewhat in
the spirit of some of Mr P's own songs and ditties I thought I'd share
it. It scans OK, and is quite amusing. Sorry if it offends.

*****

> >>Subject: Gilbert and the NGs
> >>
> >>Gilbert & Sullivan Online
> >>
> >>I am the very model of a Newsgroup personality.
> >>I intersperse obscenity with tedious banality.
> >>Addresses I have plenty of, both genuine and ghosted too,
> >>On all the countless newsgroups that my drivel is cross posted to.
> >>Your bandwidth I will fritter with my whining and my snivelling,
> >>And you're the one who pays the bill, downloading all my drivelling.
> >>My enemies are numerous, and no-one would be blaming you
> >>For cracking my head open after I've been rudely flaming you.
> >>
> >>I hate to lose an argument (by now I should be used to it).
> >>I wouldn't know a valid point if I was introduced to it.
> >>My learning is extensive but consists of mindless trivia,
> >>Designed to fan my ego, which is larger than Bolivia.
> >>The comments that I vomit forth, disguised as jest and drollery,
> >>Are really just an exercise in unremitting trollery.
> >>I say I'm frank and forthright, but that's merely lies and vanity,
> >>The gibberings of one who's at the limits of his sanity.
> >>
> >>If only I could get a life, as many people tell me to;
> >>If only Mom could find a circus freak show she could sell me to;
> >>If I go off to Zanzibar to paint the local scenery;
> >>If I lose all my fingers in a mishap with machinery;
> >>If I survive to twenty, which is somewhat problematical;
> >>If what I post was more mature, or slightly more grammatical;
> >>If I could learn to spell a bit, and maybe even punctuate;
> >>Would I still be the loathsome and objectionable punk you hate?
> >>
> >>But while I have this tiresome urge to prance around and show my
> face,
> >>It simply isn't safe for normal people here in cyberspace.
> >>To stick me in Old Sparky and turn on the electricity
> >>Would be a fitting punishment for my egocentricity.
> ===================END=====================