Indecision 2000 - from H.R.M.

[Lorentzen / Nicklaus]

otto schrieb:

> THE FEDERAL REPUBLIC OF GERMANY
>
> hereby declares is dissolution claiming the status of a Dutch colony.


  gott bewahre! i mean, how often have the dutch people, actually, been   
  fußballweltmeister?! you see ... kai 

  ps: of course it's nice that our friendly neighbors produce mdma for the whole 
  globe ... 


> We are glad to deliver Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Beatrix all monarchial
> duties over all provinces and other territories.
>
> We are grateful that Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Beatrix has accepted our
> submission to
>
> HET KONINGRIJK DER NEDERLANDEN
>
>
> ps
> it was time to get under Dutch laws . . . great idea, Dave.
>
>
> ----- Original Message -----
> From: David Morris <fqmorris at hotmail.com>
> To: <pynchon-l at waste.org>
> Sent: Thursday, November 16, 2000 7:33 AM
> Subject: RE: Indecision 2000 - from H.R.M.
>
>
> >
> > NOTICE OF REVOCATION OF INDEPENDENCE
> >
> > To the citizens of the United States of America,
> >
> > In the light of your failure to elect a President of the USA and thus to
> > govern yourselves, we hereby give notice of the revocation of your
> > independence, effective today.
> >
> > Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II will resume monarchial duties
> over
> > all states, commonwealths and other territories.
> >
> > Except Utah, which she does not fancy.
> >
> > Your new prime minister (The rt. hon. Tony Blair, MP for the 97.85% of you
> > who have until now been unaware that there is a world outside your
> borders)
> > will appoint a minister for America without the need for further
> elections.
> >   Congress and the Senate will be disbanded.   A questionnaire will be
> > circulated next year to determine whether any of you noticed.
> >
> > To aid in the transition to a British Crown Dependency, the following
> rules
> > are introduced with immediate effect:
> >
> > 1. You should look up "revocation" in the Oxford English Dictionary.  Then
> > look up "aluminium".   Check the pronunciation guide.   You will be amazed
> > at just how wrongly you have been pronouncing it.   Generally, you should
> > raise your vocabulary to acceptable levels.   Look up "vocabulary".
> Using
> > the same twenty seven words interspersed with filler noises such as "like"
> > and "you know" is an unacceptable and inefficient form of communication.
> > Look up "interspersed".
> >
> > 2. There is no such thing as "US English".   We will let Microsoft know on
> > your behalf.
> >
> > 3. You should learn to distinguish the English and Australian accents.  It
> > really isn't that hard.
> >
> > 4. Hollywood will be required occasionally to cast English actors as the
> > good guys.
> >
> > 5. You should relearn your original national anthem, "God Save The Queen",
> > but only after fully carrying out task 1.   We would not want you to get
> > confused and give up half way through.
> >
> > 6. You should stop playing American "football".   There is only one kind
> of
> > football.   What you refer to as American "football" is not a very good
> > game.  The 2.15% of you who are aware that there is a world outside your
> > borders may have noticed that no one else plays "American" football.   You
> > will no longer be allowed to play it, and should instead play proper
> > football.  Initially, it would be best if you played with the girls.   It
> is
> > a difficult game.   Those of you brave enough will, in time, be allowed to
> > play rugby (which is similar to American "football", but does not involve
> > stopping for a rest every twenty seconds or wearing full kevlar body
> armour
> > like nancies).   We are hoping to get together at least a US rugby sevens
> > side by 2005.
> >
> > 7. You should declare war on Quebec and France, using nuclear weapons if
> > they give you any merde.   The 98.85% of you who were not aware that there
> > is a world outside your borders should count yourselves lucky.   The
> > Russians have never been the bad guys.   "Merde" is French for "shit".
> >
> >
> > 8. July 4th is no longer a public holiday.   November 8th will be a new
> > national holiday, but only in England.   It will be called "Indecisive
> Day".
> >
> > 9. All American cars are hereby banned.   They are crap and it is for your
> > own good.   When we show you German cars, you will understand what we
> mean.
> >
> > 10. Please tell us who killed JFK.   It's been driving us crazy.
> >
> > Thank you for your cooperation.
> >
> >
> > _________________________________________________________________________
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>
>
>