Fwd: [Mike's Message] Blame Monica!

[Doug Millison]

>From: "Mike Mail" <mikemail at cloud9.net>
>To: <michaelmoore-l at cloud9.net>
>Subject: [Mike's Message] Blame Monica!
>Date: Fri, 17 Nov 2000 09:06:04 -0800
>
>Blame Monica!
>
>November 17, 2000
>
>Dear friends,
>
>For the past week I have suffered this unbearable
>guilt that I may have put George W. Bush in the
>White House. I thought back to the time I first met
>with Ralph Nader and, secretly, we hatched The Plot.
>
>Our goal? To make this country suffer, suffer,
>SUFFER under George W. Bush! All we needed to
>do was convince just 300 people, preferably in a
>"swing state," to vote for Nader instead of Gore.
>Simple! Genius! That would put Bush in the White
>House and THAT would lead to mass revolution
>and THAT would lead to ... well, something. This
>stuff ALWAYS leads to something!
>
>I told Ralph, though, that "running" and hanging out
>with "celebrities" would NOT be enough. So I was
>dispatched to secretly meet with Al Gore. Using my
>incredible powers of persuasion, I was the one who
>persuaded Gore to ignore not only his traditional
>Democratic base, but also his home state of
>Tennessee in the campaign. He agreed! I then
>got him to prevent Clinton from campaigning in
>Arkansas. He went along with this also -- and
>together those two states cost him 16 critical
>electoral votes!
>
>So you can see why I have been convinced for
>the past week that it was me, all me, the one
>who is responsible for costing Gore the
>election.
>
>That is, until I saw the official results from
>Florida, as confirmed by Secretary of State/Bush
>Campaign Chair Katherine Harris:
>
>FLORIDA Presidential Results
>  Precincts Reporting: 100%
>  Al Gore, Dem                      2,910,192   48.8%      
>  George W. Bush, GOP        2,910,492   48.8%      
>  Pat Buchanan, RP                     17,472    0.3%      
>  Ralph Nader, Grn                     97,422    1.6%      
>  Harry Browne, Lib                    16,401    0.3%      
>  John Hagelin, NLP                     2,273    0%      
>  James Harris, SWP                       588    0%      
>  David McReynolds, Soc                618    0%      
>  Monica Moorehead, Workers World    1,805    0%      
>  Howard Phillips, CST                  1,370    0%   
>
>As I studied these results, I suddenly saw the true
>culprit, the one candidate responsible for putting
>Bush in the White House. And it was NOT
>Ralph Nader.
>
>It was MONICA MOOREHEAD!
>
>That's right. Monica Moorehead, Presidential
>Candidate of the Worker's World Party.
>
>Ms. Moorehead received 1,805 votes in Florida,
>1,500 more votes than what now separates
>Bush and Gore.
>
>Had Monica not been on the ballot, it is safe to
>assume that at least 300 of her supporters would
>have voted for Al Gore! Exit polls confirm this fact.
>Al Gore was the second choice of over half of the
>Moorehead voters!
>
>The Worker's World Party is a socialist political
>organization that has been around for decades. They
>are the ones who always have the best-looking
>banners at any political demonstration (black italic
>lettering on a yellow-orange background). They are
>for unions, a fair distribution of the wealth, and are
>pro-choice, pro-environment and pro-gay. You can see
>why, if they had nowhere else to go, Moorehead voters
>would have held their nose and voted for Gore.
>
>And we wouldn't be in the mess we're in right now!
>
>I hold Monica Moorehead personally responsible
>for all the havoc a Bush presidency will wreak. If
>women are forced to return to back alley
>coathanger abortions, it will be because of
>Monica. If the Alaskan wilderness is ravaged
>by corporate greed, it will be because of Monica.
>If we are unable to repel an attack of Martians,
>it will be because of Monica.
>
>What kind of weird, sick ego filled this candidate,
>compelling her to run and do so much damage? Oh,
>I get it -- "principle!" She was running for "principle,"
>not to actually WIN. Hey, get a clue, Monica -- this
>is the REAL world the rest of us live in. While you
>decided to have your ego party and travel the country
>with celebrities, the rest of us were trying to do
>something practical. Was it simply your greed to get
>matching federal funds in the next election? Was that
>what your candidacy was all about? Money for
>YOU? I read in Salon.com you live in a Park Ave.
>penthouse! And they are NEVER wrong!! So while
>you get rich in the next four years, selling your
>pamphlets on "The Dialectic of Political Reform in
>Socialist Romania 1951-1984," the rest of us will
>just have to suffer!
>
>Well, I for one, will not let this drop. I encourage
>everyone to shun Monica Moorehead. If she enters
>a room, just leave. If she speaks to you, tell her
>that she is a "non-person" and then leave. When her
>name comes up in conversation, change the subject
>-- and then leave. If she comes on TV, switch the
>channel. If they put her name on a candy bar, don't
>eat it. If you find yourself in the same restaurant as
>her, don't order what she has ordered. And don't
>ever go back to that restaurant because you may
>end up drinking from the same glass she drank from!
>
>Let us all make the name "Monica Moorehead"
>synonymous with EVIL. Do NOT return her calls.
>Delete her name from your Palm Pilot.
>
>I have read some of Monica's latest comments in
>the past couple days as she has attacked the vote
>fraud in Florida. Hey, Monica -- you're a little late,
>aren't you? Where were you when you were helping
>Bush get elected? Why didn't you drop out of the
>race when you saw how close it was? All our lives
>we have respected you, and now you just went and
>blew it! Why should we listen to you from this point
>on? You say we should "take to the streets of West
>Palm Beach!" How the hell do you expect us to
>do that when we have to spend time writing you these
>angry letters?
>
>I am announcing the formation of the "Blame Monica
>Movement."  Heretofore, whenever anyone wants to
>know WHO is responsible for putting Bush in the
>White House, you just tell them, "IT WAS MONICA!"
>
>Blame Monica!
>
>Yours,
>
>Michael Moore
>mmflint at aol.com
>www.michaelmoore.com
>
>P.S. This Saturday, November 18, may be the
>last chance to take to the streets to stop "The
>Bush Ballot Theft." Rallies and demonstrations
>are being held in cities all over the country at 1pm.
>Click here to find out where:
>www.geocities.com/countercoup
>
>Let's get thousands out there and make our
>voices heard. No matter which candidate each
>of us voted for, we must insist that the person
>with the most votes gets the job. Remember --
>  if this kind of thievery can take place amongst
>the two corporate-controlled parties, just imagine
>what they would do to us if we ever got close
>with a viable third party! If they get away with
>this, they will be able to get away with anything.
>Take a stand on Saturday.
>
>P.P.S.  Tonight  (Friday) on "The Awful Truth"
>(Bravo, 8pm and 11pm ET), we send our
>Congressional Pimp to walk the halls of Congress.
>Don't miss this lesson in democracy at work! Also,
>we present our salute to Male Apartheid!

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