Play list Coming into the closet

[Dermot Stoney]

You've been listening to too many imaginary guitar solos when you should a
bin  squirting out those lttle green rosettas,


D


----- Original Message -----
From: Terrance F. Flaherty <lycidas2 at earthlink.net>
To: <pynchon-l at waste.org>
Sent: 28 September 2000 05:24
Subject: Re: Play list Coming into the closet


>
>
>
> Arriving at L. Ron Hoover's modernistic office / cathedral /
> warehouse /
> condominium complex, Joe is greeted by a pre-recorded
> message and a dramatically
> illuminated image on a wall-sized TV screen...
>
> L. Ron Hoover:
> Welcome to the First Church of Appliantology! The WHITE ZONE
> is for loading
> and unloading only!
>
> Don't you be Tarot-fied
> It's just a token
> of my extreme
> Don't you be Tarot-fied
> It's just a token
> of my extreme
>
> Don't you never try to
> look behind my eyes
> You don't wanna know
> what they have seen
> Don't you never try to
> look behind my eyes
> You don't wanna know
> what they have seen
>
> Joe: (thinking to himself)
> Some people think
> That if they go too far
> They'll never get back
> To where the rest of
> them are
> I might be crazy
> But there's one thing
> I know
> You might be surprised
> At what you find
> when ya go!
>
> And thus, having ration- alized his expedition to L. Ron's
> modernistic office /
> cathedral / warehouse / condominium complex, JOE seeks The
> Answer to his
> problem...
>
> Joe:
> Oh oh oh
> Mystical Advisor
> What is my problem,
> tell me
> Can you see?
>
> L. Ron Hoover:
> Well, you have nothing
> to fear, my son!
> You are a Latent
> Appliance Fetishist,
> It appears to me!
>
> Joe:
> That all seems very,
> very strange
> I never craved
> a toaster
> Or a color T.V.
>
> L. Ron Hoover:
> A Latent Appliance
> Fetishist
> Is a person who
> refuses to admit
> to his or herself
> That sexual
> gratification can
> only be achieved
> Through the use of
> MACHINES...
> Get the picture?
>
> Joe:
> Are you telling me
> I should come out
> of the closet now
> Mr. Ron?
>
> L. Ron Hoover:
> No, my son!
> You must go into
> THE CLOSET
>
> Joe:
> What?
>
> L. Ron Hoover:
> And you will have
>
> Joe:
> Heh?
>
> L. Ron Hoover:
> Hey!
> A lot of fun!
> That's where
> they all live
> So if you want an
> Appliance to love you
> You'll have to
> go in there
> 'N' get you one
>
> Joe:
> Well...that seems
> simple enough...
>
> L. Ron Hoover:
> Yes, but if you want a
> really GOOD one,
> You'll have to learn a
> foreign language...
>
> Joe:
> German, for instance?
>
> L. Ron Hoover:
> That's right...
> A lot of really cute
> ones come from
> over there!
> (Fifty bucks, please)
> And a cheerful group of
> Appliantologists dance
> into the room wearing
> aluminum foil lab smocks,
> lock arms in a circle
> around JOE, making sure
> he pays in full, all the
> while singing with L. RON
> as he delivers his final
> instructions...
>
> L. Ron Hoover:
> If you been
> Mod-O-fied,
> It's an illusion,
> an yer in between
> Don't you be
> Tarot-fied,
> It's just a lot of nothin',
> So what can it mean?
>
> If you been
> Mod-O-fied,
> It's an illusion,
> an yer in between
> Don't you be
> Tarot-fied,
> It's just a lot of nothin',
> So what can it mean?
>
> If you been
> Mod-O-fied,
> It's an illusion,
> an yer in between...
>