That Apology?

[Ophilia Tsing Wea]

My dearest Robert, 

	We will weary you and all here with no apologies for this
belated posting. We are sorry for such long silence and we
thank you most heartily for the truly amusing off-list note,
which you were kind enough to address to Terrance. What
fools (we have but one Fool), and enemies to our self we
are. The vile spirit of procrastination, how lamentably it
too often possesses us. We would not forfeit your
correspondence for the world, yet, and we know how this must
anger you, we seem by the tardiness with which we take up
the keyboard, as if we have attached to it scarcely any
value. I forget who it was that said, with frightful
strength and truth "Hell is paved with good resolutions!"
Yes Robert we know the expression is proverbial, but its
currency here is altered from what Mom was fond of saying on
a Sunday about the road to Hell being paved with good
intentions. After walking six dusty miles from Sunday
services only to find us drinking lemonade and reading
Hardy's filthy fiction it's really no wonder why Mom was so
fond of that proverbial reproach. Oh if only our minds were
not so ineffectually stored with good intentions and
resolutions; and we sometimes wish, since it is so difficult
to perform all that we intend, that we had your energy and
resolve, or better yet, that such useless projects of
reformation would never enter our poor little heads. Why
they only fret us, and destroy the enjoyment and comfort
which we might otherwise derive from indulging in laziness
and all our other horrible habits (we won't list them now
but we are obliged that you have so often taken it upon
yourself to catalogue them here). But this is even worse
than an apology, and this is not what we promised ourselves
we would post. We had thought to write to you, under the
rose, to inquire how it was that you came to possess so much
knowledge of our shortcomings, but we figured you had much
more pressing matters to attend to. 		

					
Adieu-yours, gratefully.  Ophilia (with an eye) Tsing Wea