Fwd: [Sys-func] science humour only

[KXX4493553 at aol.com]

Thema:        Fwd: [Sys-func] science humour only
Datum:  26.08.01 16:58:31 (MEZ) - Mitteleurop. Sommerzeit
From:   eldon at PANIX.COM (el don)
Sender: NETDYNAM at MAELSTROM.STJOHNS.EDU (NetDynam / Network Group Dynamics 
Mailing List)
Reply-to:   NETDYNAM at MAELSTROM.STJOHNS.EDU (NetDynam / Network Group Dynamics 
Mailing List)
To: NETDYNAM at MAELSTROM.STJOHNS.EDU

sorry, i couldn't resist.

hope none of the scientists onlist are offended by these...

>
>List-Archive: <http://listserv.uts.edu.au/archives/sys-func/>
>Date: Sat, 25 Aug 2001 11:24:26 +1000
>
>Black holes were created when God divided by 0.
>
>"Today, everybody remembers Galileo. How many can name the bishops
>and professors who refused to look through his telescope?" - James
>Hogan, Mind Matters
>
>ebius coolsig. This is a moebius coolsig. This is a mo ...
>
>In The Beginning there was nothing, which exploded.
>
>"The square root of three equals two for large values of three." -
>found in a bathroom in the Cornell Physics department
>
>"If you want to make an apple pie from scratch, you must first
>create the universe." - Carl Sagan
>
>The law of gravity says, "no fair jumping without coming down"
>
>A bristlecone pine is just a fire's way of making another fire.
>
>Scientists have discovered that time is not real, that we only live
>in the current moment. But then according to that, they haven't done
>the research, and don't have anything to back them up.
>
>Black holes suck.
>
>The most important part of a microbiologist's job is not letting the
>little things get to him.
>
>May the torque be about you.
>
>I like angles, but only to a degree.
>
>"As far as the laws of mathematics refer to reality, they are not
>certain. And as far as they are certain, they do not refer to
>reality." - Einstein
>
>Scientists have shown that the moon is moving away at a tiny yet
>measurable distance from the earth every year. If you do the math,
>you can calculate that 85 million years  ago the moon was orbiting
>the earth at a distance of about 35 feet from the earth's surface.
>This would explain the death of the dinosaurs. The tallest ones,
>anyway.
>
>Entropy: Not just a fad, it's the future!
>
>31.69 NHz = once a year.
>
>To most people solutions mean finding the answers but to chemists
>solutions are things that are still all mixed up...
>
>All that glitters has a high refractive index.
>
>The most exciting phrase to hear in science, the one that heralds
>new discoveries, is not "Eureka!" but "That's funny..."' - Isaac
>Asimov
>
>Gravity... not just a good idea: It's the law.
>
>Entropy isn't what it used to be.
>
>"That's the whole problem with science. You've got a bunch of
>empiricists trying to describe things of unimaginable wonder." -
>Calvin (& Hobbes)
>
>When they broke open molecules, they found they were only stuffed
>with atoms. But when they broke open atoms, they found them stuffed
>with explosions.
>
>It might look like I'm doing nothing, but at the cellular level I'm
>really quite busy.
>
>If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the precipitate.
>
>A mathematician is a machine for converting coffee into theorems.
>
>The Three Laws Of Thermodynamics, God Shoots Dice Style:
>First Law: You can't win.
>Second Law: You can't break even.
>Third Law: You can't even get out of the game.
>
>Color... it's just a pigment of your imagination.
>
>Quantum Mechanics: The dreams stuff is made of.
>
>Particle physicists are always trying to hold a meeting, but
>whenever they decide on a place, the time changes.
>
>Actually officer, if you factor in the earth's rotation, we were all
>speeding.
>
>On the sixth day, God created the platypus. And God said: let's see
>the evolutionists try and figure this one out.
>
>A red sign on the door of a physics professor: 'If this sign is blue,
>you're going too fast.'
>
>Entropy - it's a tough job, but somebody's got to undo it.
>
>Little Johnny was a scientist.
>Little Johnny is no more.
>For what he thought was H2O
>was H2SO4.



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