Viva Fidel!

[FrodeauxB at aol.com]

Subj:    Cuba Buys Disney, Announces Redevelopment Plans
Date:   7/15/01 11:48:28 AM Central Daylight Time
From:   fff at futurefeedforward.com (futurefeedforward)
To: frodeauxb at aol.com



December 18, 2071

Cuba Buys Disney, Announces Redevelopment Plans

ORLANDO--At a press conference held late Tuesday to formally announce Cuba's 
acquisition of The Walt Disney Company, officials from the Cuban Bureau of 
Recreation unveiled plans to redevelop Disney properties worldwide.  
"Disney's entertainment properties are an ideal fit for us," noted Cuban 
Executive Director of Learning Environments Minerva Perez.  "This acquisition 
supplies us with the infrastructure that will enable us to leverage our 
ideological advantages and get our message out globally."

    Asked about the acquisition, Disney Chairman and CEO Increase Matthews 
pointed to a "Cuban tradition of tourism and showmanship very familiar to all 
of us here at Disney," and declared confidently that, "with the infusion of 
Cuba's fresh blood and capital," the "spirit of Disney will live on into the 
22nd century."

    The once powerful entertainment giant's stock hit an historic low of $.53 
in April as attendance at its parks plummeted following public release of FBI 
crime statistics covering the Orlando and Anaheim properties.  "It's sad to 
say, but the Disney parks have actually become fairly dangerous," explains 
FBI Crime Trends Division spokesman Jerome Hoyle.  "Gangs of street kids and 
mid-life nostalgia vandals roam the grounds.  Security is lax because of 
budget cuts, and they're desperate enough for gate revenues that they've done 
little to discourage 'wilding Wednesdays.'  The revenue-boosting liquor 
concession has only added to the problem."

    Many analysts attribute the decline in Disney's fortunes to the company's 
failure to secure immemorial intellectual property rights in its stock 
characters, including "Mickey Mouse," "Donald Duck," and "Goofy."  Accused of 
price gouging in merchandise-starved developing markets, Disney late last 
year lost its twelve-year battle with the WIPO and was forced to dedicate the 
characters to public use.  "That was a huge blow," notes Jupiter analyst 
Marie Cacke.  "Disney's character-branded merchandise revenues crashed as 
everybody and their uncle crowded into the market for Mickey t-shirts.  From 
there, things at Disney spiraled out of control even quicker than most of us 
expected."

    Cuba's plans for the Disney parks are extensive, and include the 
development of free, park-wide healthcare, co-operative ownership of 
individual rides and attractions, and emancipation of the bioengineered 
characters that roam the grounds.  The country also plans extensive revision 
of the "theme" of the parks.  Cuba's Perez explains:  "Traditionally, the 
Disney parks have been distorted monuments to industrial capitalism, its 
'Frontierland' colonial past and its 'Tommorrowland' future.  We're planning 
a more well-rounded vision, including a newly designed 'the people's land,' 
and a special new ride: 'Indiana Jones and the Sweatshop of Doom.'"

    In an irony lost on few, Cuba is funding the Disney acquisition with 
revenues generated by worldwide sales of its popular Fidel-branded 
merchandise.  Iconic images of Cuba's former president, including Fidel 
watches, t-shirts, and key chains, are expected to be available in Disney 
stores by month's end.  Cuban officials are reported to have contacted 
topiary experts throughout the world concerning the best shrubs to plant in 
the shape of the beloved Castro.

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TTFN

frodeauxb