NP: It has come to my attention...

[Derek C. Maus]

...that my name has been bandied about in a recent discussion reliving the
past. Not that I'd like to rejoin this debate (I left the list for just
this reason) but since, judging from the archives, people have presumed to
speak for what my intentions were, I will answer a few of them.

Doug, let me speak clearly and unambiguously here. I was *not* accusing
rj/jbor of anti-Semitism. I *was* accusing him of being an ass, since my
original entry in the "discussion" you and he were having was a plea for
civility from both of you, which he answered with some smartass remark
as follows:

(from 
http://www.waste.org/mail/?list=pynchon-l&month=0010&msg=519&sort=thread)

"But I can see by his upcoming post that hypocrite maus's *only* real
purpose and context in ever corresponding to the list is injecting venom
and trading personal insults as well, which, in my book, is
attention-seeking behaviour at its most juvenile."

The post you recently quoted as "proof" that I was calling him
anti-Semitic was in fact a point-for-point refutation of this baseless
accusation, as the links I included demonstrate that my real purpose in
posting to the list included a number of motivations and that I was not
proud of the instances in which I was drawn into a flame exchange.

MalignD is at least partially right
(http://www.waste.org/mail/?list=pynchon-l&month=0111&msg=12) in saying
that "Derek claimed to believe an anti-Semitic intent, a different thing 
from 'identifying' anything as such. The supposedly offending term was no 
more than Derek's own surname." I did not and do not believe that there
was an anti-Semitic intent, only that such a perception could have been
received. It was an inexpertly executed reference, and for that I
apologize, but it was not "supposedly offending."

As for your claim, rj/jbor that "[my] posts to [you] contained a stream of
personal
attacks" (http://www.waste.org/mail/?list=pynchon-l&month=0110&msg=1755),
I was responding to your label of me as a "hypocrite." My initial two
postings in this thread contain nothing more than a plea for both of you
to civilize the discussion you were having at the time. If my tone changed
after that I submit that you had as much to do with that as I did.

When Kai jumped in with his wonderfully incoherent rantings
(e.g., 
http://www.waste.org/mail/?list=pynchon-l&month=0010&msg=494&sort=author) was
when I chose to withdraw from the list, it was not at any comments of
yours, although it does somewhat reduce the nobility of your claim not to
have responded to any more of my posts, since there were no more. 

My comment to you about using my last name was and is that I clearly
identified myself throughout my participation on the list as "Derek" and
do not wish to be addressed as "maus," no matter what your intentions
were. 

As I rather petulantly wrote:

"First of all, asshole, my name is Derek, not "maus" (which is, as you no 
doubt know, not only my last name but an insulting [sic] hurled toward
Jews in Germany, you little sweetie you...). If you wish to hide your
little-frog self behind your bigpond.com alias, that's fine with me, but I
have a name and I'd appreciate it if you use it when you refer to me."

Since you had used "Derek" up to that point in our exchanges, I
assumed the change was intentional and pointed. I consider it belittling
and insulting -- but that is just my intention. If you wish to cite me in
an academic context, feel free to refer to me by that name (although
please capitalize it) but if you wish to have a discussion with me I would
prefer you use the name by which I call myself. Since I assumed that your
sudden change of reference to me was intentional, I wanted to point out to
you that it *could* be interpreted as anti-Semitic (which was a point,
given the context of the ongoing ludicrous discussion, I thought you
wished to avoid). If I was mistaken, I apologize, and whether or not I was
mistaken in your intentions, I apologize for the tone.

And, Doug, I am *not* a "respected member of the academic community." I am
an assistant professor of literature -- nothing more, nothing less. Don't
make me into something greater than what I am. I have not and will not put
myself on an intellectual pedestal, and I don't appreciate either of you
bringing me back in absentia into this shit-flinging contest.

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Derek C. Maus               |   "Transported to a surreal landscape, a
dmaus at email.unc.edu         |     young girl kills the first woman she
UNC-CH, Dept. of English    |   meets, then teams up with three complete
http://www.unc.edu/~dmaus/  |          strangers to kill again"
                            | --"Wizard of Oz" synopsis, Marin Co. paper
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