funny signs posted in English around the world

[barbara100 at jps.net]

www.grammarlady.com

Interesting Language Stuff: Subject: Signs from
around the world 

Here are some signs from around the world. Try to
fix them so they mean what the originator probably
meant.

Cocktail lounge, Norway: LADIES ARE REQUESTED
NOT TO HAVE CHILDREN IN THE BAR. 
Doctor's Office, Rome: SPECIALIST IN WOMEN AND
OTHER DISEASES.
Hotel, Acapulco: THE MANAGER HAS PERSONALLY
PASSED ALL THE WATER SERVED HERE. 
On using the Hotel air conditioner, Japan: COOLES
AND HEATES: IF YOU WANT JUST CONDITION OF
WARM AIR IN YOUR ROOM, PLEASE CONTROL
YOURSELF.
Car rental brochure, Tokyo: WHEN PASSENGER OF
FOOT HEAVE IN SIGHT, TOOTLE THE HORN.
TRUMPET HIM MELODIOUSLY AT FIRST, BUT IF HE
STILL OBSTACLES YOUR PASSAGE, THEN TOOTLE
HIM WITH VIGOR. 
In a restaurant, Nairobi: CUSTOMERS WHO FIND OUR
WAITRESSES RUDE OUGHT TO SEE THE MANAGER.
On the grounds of a private school, India: NO
TRESPASSING WITHOUT PERMISSION. 
On an Athi River highway: TAKE NOTICE: WHEN THIS
SIGN IS UNDER WATER, THIS ROAD IS IMPASSABLE.
On a poster at Kencom: ARE YOU AN ADULT THAT
CANNOT READ? IF SO, WE CAN HELP. 
In a City restaurant: OPEN SEVEN DAYS A WEEK AND
WEEKENDS.
On one of the Mathare Buildings: MENTAL HEALTH
PREVENTION CENTRE. 
Warning on an automatic rest room hand dryer: DO
NOT ACTIVATE WITH WET HANDS.
In a Pumwani maternity ward: NO CHILDREN
ALLOWED. 
In a local cemetery: PERSONS ARE PROHIBITED FROM
PICKING FLOWERS FROM ANY BUT THEIR OWN
GRAVES.
A Tokyo hotel's rules and regulations: GUESTS ARE
REQUESTED NOT TO SMOKE OR DO OTHER
DISGUSTING BEHAVIOURS IN BED. 
On the menu of a Swiss restaurant: OUR WINES
LEAVE YOU NOTHING TO HOPE FOR. 
Hotel room notice, Chiang-mai, Thailand; PLEASE DO
NOT BRING SOLICITORS INTO YOUR ROOM. 
Hotel brochure, Italy: THIS HOTEL IS RENOWNED FOR
ITS PEACE AND SOLITUDE. IN FACT, CROWDS FROM
ALL OVER THE WORLD FLOCK HERE TO ENJOY ITS
SOLITUDE. 
Hotel catering to skiers, Austria: NOT TO
PERAMBULATE THE CORRIDORS IN THE HOURS OF
REPOSE IN THE BOOTS OF ASCENSION. 
Supermarket, Hong Kong: FOR YOUR CONVENIENCE,
WE RECOMMEND COURTEOUS, EFFICIENT SELF SERVICE. 
In an East African newspaper; A NEW SWIMMING
POOL IS RAPIDLY TAKING SHAPE SINCE THE
CONTRACTORS HAVE THROWN IN THE BULK OF
THEIR WORKERS. 
Hotel, Vienna; IN CASE OF FIRE, DO YOUR UTMOST
TO ALARM THE HOTEL PORTER. 
Tourist agency, Czech: TAKE ONE OF OUR HORSE
DRIVEN CITY TOURS. WE GUARANTEE NO
MISCARRIAGES. 
In the window of a Swedish furrier: FUR COATS MADE
FOR LADIES WITH THEIR OWN SKIN. 
On the box of a clockwork toy made in Hong Kong:
GUARANTEED TO WORK THROUGHOUT ITS USEFUL LIFE. 
In a Swiss mountain inn: SPECIAL TODAY - NO
ICE-CREAM. 
Old sign in hotel room, Moscow: IF THIS IS YOUR
FIRST VISIT TO THE USSR, YOU ARE WELCOME TO IT. 
A laundry in Rome: LADIES, LEAVE YOUR CLOTHES
HERE AND SPEND THE AFTERNOON HAVING A GOOD
TIME.


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