The Camel Jockeys in '03

[Mutualcode at aol.com]

I mean, "Washington Redskins" just doesn't have the same
snappy in your face we mean biz don't fuck with our squaws
reso-nation, it used to, does it? Once upon a' time,  - when 
there was such a thing as honor- "Redskins" had some impact. 
But shoot, how many years has it been, now, since we tacked 
Chief Joseph's and Sitting Bull's red asses above the mantle, 
drank whiskey, rolled leaf, and spit in the fire? Too many. The 
only "Redskins" anybody ever hears about these days are wearin' 
suits and retaining counsel.

That's why I'm suggesting that we update the name of D.C.'s own
NFL Heroes to that of our latest trophy- bagged fair and square in
the treacherous sands of Iraq. The "Hogs" need to be replaced by
a whole new style, reflecting a lightening fast offense- something 
lithe yet unstoppable- scorching like the desert yet loose like the
billowing tents of the desert sheik- stealthy, smart, flexible and
deadly.

It might start a whole new trend around the league, the focus on
the transition game- The middle east offense.

Instead of pig's noses and hairy chests, the stands behind the 
endzone would become a sea of colorful turbans, scimitar beards,
babes with bare midrifs and be-jeweled navels- it would be bad.
Tail-gates would be replaced by tents: hummus, pita and shishkabob 
would mingle with sausage and peppers. The stadium club would
be renamed: Club Alibaba, and the waitresses...

Picking the right man to be coach would be essential. Someone
willing to play against the grain, a cool calm exterior, but
capable of sudden bursts of passionate intensity. Midway
through the fourth quarter, he would throw off his flowing robes
and head scarf, bring a well-worn brown fedora to his head, slip
into the trademark leather jacket, and get down to business.

respectfully
      
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