Foreword "Goofy Mustaches"

[pynchonoid]

--- s~Z <keithsz at concentric.net> wrote:
> Mr. Rogers...

<http://pbskids.org/rogers/parents/war.html>

<http://pbskids.org/rogers/parents/war-thoughts.html>
HELPING PARENTS, TEACHERS, AND CAREGIVERS DEAL WITH
CHILDREN'S CONCERNS ABOUT WAR 

by Fred Rogers with Hedda Bluestone Sharapan 

This article was originally written during the 1991
Gulf War to help children and adults deal with some of
their concerns about the war. We are making this
available again, at this time, and hope you will find
it helpful. 

It is understandable that parents, teachers, and
caregivers have struggled with feelings about how to
communicate with children about the current world
crisis. I wonder if we know how deeply each one of us
is affected as we watch soldiers saying tearful
farewells to family, reporters donning gas masks, and
missiles demolishing targets. War is an emotional
issue for all of us. As with all concerns about
childhood, there are no magic answers, but we are glad
to share with you some thoughts for helping children
cope with the fears and uncertainties that TV's
coverage of the war may have aroused. 

LET YOUR CHILDREN KNOW ADULTS ARE TAKING CARE OF THEM
Above all, in any fearful time, children need to know
that they are safe and that that their parents or
guardians will take care of their needs. We each have
our own ways of reassuring our children. One director
of a day care center told us she could feel
comfortable saying to the children, "I'm sad about the
war, and I'm worried, but I love you, and I am here
for you." Sometimes just a hug is enough. 

We can also do our best to keep things as normal as
possible. Knowing what to expect comforts children:
continuing familiar routines can go a long way towards
providing a feeling of security. 

TURN OFF THE TV
Even very young children drink in television images,
and the younger the children are, the more likely they
are to be interested in close-up faces. Think of the
close-up faces we see on television of people who are
screaming in anger or sobbing from disaster that's
struck their home and family. Are those the images we
want our babies and toddlers to absorb? 

LIMIT YOUR OWN TV VIEWING
It's very tempting to get drawn into watching war news
around the clock, but adults must resist that
temptation because it can lead to a feeling of fear
and despair which their children can sense. Spend time
with your children; they need you more than the
newscasters in the world. 

TALK WITH YOUR CHILDREN ABOUT WAR -- AND PEACE
Even if we wanted to, it would be impossible to help
young children understand war. If they ask, "What is a
war?," your best answer might be to ask them, "What do
you think a war is?" 

If the answer is, "I don't know," then the simplest
reply is best: "War is a very sad, unpleasant thing,
and it's not your fault. Children may fight and they
may pretend about war, but they don't make real wars,
and I hope when you grow up you'll never have to make
one either." 

Older children are probably aware that something
serious is happening in the world. If parents don't
bring up the subject of the war to them, they may be
left at the mercy of their misinterpretation. 

Of course, if a child chooses "not to think about
war," respect that decision. Years later, that child
will be better equipped to deal with harsh reality of
battle. If forced to do so too soon, he or she could
feel abused. 

BE A GOOD LISTENER
Parents may be surprised to find out how much their
children already know about the war. One mother asked
her five-year-old if he knew what was on the news. She
was stunned that he knew so much about the situation
in such clear terms. She hadn't mentioned it up to
that time, thinking it would be better to wait until
he brought it up. He heard about it on the school bus.


Her question gave both the mother and son a
springboard for a discussion about the war, as well as
a foundation for talks about other problems, so
families may be able to benefit in many ways from
these discussions. 

MONITOR YOUR CHILDREN'S WAR PLAY
Play is one of the important ways children can work
through their concerns. Of course, war play can become
scary or unsafe, and at times like that, children need
to trust that adults will be nearby, to stop the play
when it becomes too scary. Adults can also redirect
the play into caring and nurturing themes, perhaps by
suggesting the building of a hospital for the wounded
or making a pretend meal for the soldiers Focusing on
the helpers reminds children that there are always
helping people… so many caring people in this world. 

HELP CHILDREN LEARN TO HANDLE ANGER CONSTRUCTIVELY
Anger is a normal feeling. Besides allowing children
the right to their anger, we can also help them find
creative solutions to their conflicts -- solutions
that don't hurt others or themselves. By showing
children how to deal with their anger in healthy ways,
we are giving them useful tools that will serve them
all life long and helping them to be the world's
future peacemakers. 
©2003 Family Communications, Inc. 

....It's sad that, in large part because of US foreign
policy, so many children in other countries wind up
having to suffer, die, and even fight in wars, instead
of watch them on TV and talk about it with their loved
ones.  

-Doug

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