VLVL2 (3) A Finesi Romance #1

[Don Corathers]

Rob and Terrance:

> > I'm more inclined to think that Zoyd hasn't understood the ritualistic
gag
> > and PI routine which Van Meter and Hector employ here. I actually think
that
> > Van Meter provides the corroborating information about Leon
deliberately,
> > and that the "Aaaaa" is for Zoyd's benefit, or part of the routine. A
snitch
> > needs to be careful not to let others know that he is a snitch.
>
> I agree.
>
>
> This is not the first time Hector has  been to their pad.

[snippin']


This is a little *too* nuanced for my flavor. I think it's a comic scene to
be taken at face value. I think it is Hector's first visit. I think Scott
splits because he instantly recognizes Hector's cop aura. Van Meter,
half-bright or stoned or both, doesn't.

The tipoff that this is Hector's first PI payment to the household is
"[T]hat fatal five-spot...." (24) a reference to *The Fatal Glass of Beer,*
the 1933 W.C. Fields short. The fatal glass of beer is the *first* one,
which irretrievably sets one on a course toward alcoholism. (If the fiver
wasn't the first one, what was "fatal" about it?) That the film is
unadulterated slapstick is, in my opinion, an advisory on how to read the
scene, if one is needed.

The song "Fatal Glass of Beer" from a transcript of the film:

"There was once a poor boy,
and he left his country home,
and came to the city
to look for work.

He promised his ma and pa
he would lead a civ'lized life,
and always shun the fatal curse
of drink.

Once in the city,
he got a situation in a quarry,
And there he made the acquaintance
of some college students.

(In a flashback, we see the bow-tied, bespeckled, straw-hatted Chester--in
white attire--entering a saloon through swinging doors, while patrons urge
him to come in and drink.)

Little thought they were demons,
for they wore the best of clothes,
but the clothes do not always make the gentleman.

They tempted him to drink,
and they said he was a coward;
At last he took the fatal glass
of beer.

(cut back to Chester, in exaggerated poses, at first refusing drink; then
downing the brew. The shock of the act causes his legs to snap together and
eyes to shoot open. He slams the mug to the floor; it bounces and doesn't
break.)

He'd found what he'd done
he dashed the glass down on the floor,
and he staggered through the door
with delerium tree-mens.

(Chester spins out the flapping doors. Note: Delerium tremens, from one
drink.)

(cut back to WC and OP; the latter is now visibly moved, wiping away tears
and sobbing.)

Once upon the sidewalk
He met a Salvation Army girl,
and wickedly be broke
her tambourine.

Oh she said,
'Heaven bless you' (WC mistakenly--but actually for intentional comic
effect--lifts his hand off the dulcimer while it's still "playing.")
And placed a mark upon his brow,
with a kick she'd learned
before she had been saved.

(A fully attired Salvation Army lady pops a wicked high kick to Chester's
head; he falls flat to the pavement.) (Cut back to WC and OP)

Now, as a moral to young men
who come down to the city,
don't go 'round breaking
people's tambourines."

(OP cries audibly.)
OP: "That certainly is a sad song." (OP cries rather unconvicingly, and
covers his face with a hanky--probably to hide laughter.) (WC pats his
back.)

WC: "Don't cry constable. It IS a sad song." (WC throws the dulcimer into
the chest and slams the lid with a loud crash.)

D.C.