more .... pathetic .... little ....

[MalignD at elvis.com]

We tacked back and forth about two hours, watching one
after another of the pod fluke or lop-tail, until a
whale rose up out of the water just ahead of the bow.
Something torpedo-sized squirted from its vast grey
bulk. "What the hell's that?" we screamed. "That is a
turd," said Lisa. "If we're lucky, we'll get a sample."
Yes, we got to know them that intimately. 

Alobar says in describing the Bandaloop to Kudra: "They
were alternately hospitable and antagonistic. They
would pour me milk to drink, then drop a turd in the
cup. They would flatter me, then spit in my face. They
would ignore me, than as I made to leave, they'd
implore me to stay."

At nearly the same time, somewhere across the Sydney
night lights that lay glimmering in the harbour like a
pool of ejaculate on a hooker's tits, the offices of
Off The Street were in uproar. TISM's new album, Hot
Dogma, had arrived and, as usual, the intense flame of
critical sensibility burned bright: 

"It's my fucking review copy, iguana-breath. I'm
fucking editor around here; and if you don't have more
maturity than that, I'll pick up my pen and paper and
go home." 

"But I bought the milk and biscuits last week. And I
washed up on Thursday. So I get to keep the copy." 

"Don't fuck me around. Not only did I buy the sugar for
the whole of February, I didn't use my executive limo
for a whole year so this on-the-pulse, street credible,
ground breaking newspaper could continue. We're not The
Droning Tome, you know." 

"But you haven't got an executive limo." 

"THAT'S NOT THE FUCKING POINT, phosphate-piss. I STILL
DIDN'T USE IT. Don't jerk me off - not here in public,
anyway. Look, I know how to solve this. What's our mag
called?" 

"Off The Street." 

"Right. And why do we call it that?" 

"To show we're alternative, modern, innovative and
anarchic?" 

"Fuck that. It's 'cause the first person who walks in
off the street gets to do those little squiggly
things... you know... what are they called... you
know..." 

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