NPPF Canto 1: 1-4

[Malignd]

Rob Jackson:

<<It doesn't work because the series of consonant
blends creates a dissonant effect which, as a
soundscape, doesn't correlate in any way to the scene
or attempted mood. And that "smudge" goes with "wax"
(rather than the actual remnant of bird) isn't poetic;
it's corny.>>

Two things:  

The smudge doesn't go with wax or with remnant of
bird.  Shade compares himself to the shadow of the
waxwing; "smudge of ashen fluff" is then, in context,
an expansion of "shadow."

You write, re VL:

<<... this sort of thing is criticised by Fredric
Jameson (he calls it "parody that has lost its sense
of humour", which is, after all, a rather subjective
judgement -- I find Pynchon's send-ups, if nothing
else, quite hilarious).>>

You should bear this in mind when discussing VN's
(Shade's) poem.  Your comment that "the series of
consonant blends creates a dissonant effect which, as
a soundscape, doesn't correlate in any way to the
scene or attempted mood," is "a rather subjective
judgement," although you apparently don't see it as
such.  Noting the series of consonants is objective;
saying it doesn't correlate is not.  Calling it corny,
certainly isn't.

In large, I think your argument that VN intended
Shade's poem as less than grand is tenable, even
probable, certainly interesting, and quite
unavoidable.  But I think the poem is often far better
than you allow and your addressing the argument as a
closed case, insisting the poem is simply second rate
and that such can be demonstrated as if with test tube
and caliper ...  It's just hectoring.




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