NP smells fishy to me

[pynchonoid]

Pity the poor satirist...


Word is made flesh as God reveals himself... as a fish


Edward Helmore New York
Sunday March 16, 2003
The Observer 

An obscure Jewish sect in New York has been gripped in
awe by what it believes to be a mystical visitation by
a 20lb carp that was heard shouting in Hebrew, in what
many Jews worldwide are hailing as a modern miracle. 

Many of the 7,000-member Skver sect of Hasidim in New
Square, 30 miles north of Manhattan, believe God has
revealed himself in fish form. 

According to two fish-cutters at the New Square Fish
Market, the carp was about to be slaughtered and made
into gefilte fish for Sabbath dinner when it suddenly
began shouting apocalyptic warnings in Hebrew. 

Many believe the carp was channelling the troubled
soul of a revered community elder who recently died;
others say it was God. The only witnesses to the
mystical show were Zalmen Rosen, a 57-year-old Hasid
with 11 children, and his co-worker, Luis Nivelo. They
say that on 28 January at 4pm they were about to club
the carp on the head when it began yelling. 

Nivelo, a Gentile who does not understand Hebrew, was
so shocked at the sight of a fish talking in any
language that he fell over. He ran into the front of
the store screaming: 'It's the Devil! The Devil is
here!' Then the shop owner heard it shouting warnings
and commands too. 

'It said "Tzaruch shemirah" and "Hasof bah",' he told
the New York Times, 'which essentially means that
everyone needs to account for themselves because the
end is near.' 

The animated carp commanded Rosen to pray and study
the Torah. Rosen tried to kill the fish but injured
himself. It was finally butchered by Nivelo and sold. 

However, word spread far and wide and Nivelo complains
he has been plagued by phone calls from as far away as
London and Israel. The story has since been amplified
by repetition and some now believe the fish's outburst
was a warning about the dangers of the impending war
in Iraq. 

Some say they fear the born-again President Bush
believes he is preparing the world for the Second
Coming of Christ, and war in Iraq is just the opening
salvo in the battle of Armageddon. 

Local resident Abraham Spitz said: 'Two men do not
dream the same dream. It is very rare that God reminds
people he exists in this modern world. But when he
does, you cannot ignore it.' 

Others in New Square discount the apocalyptic reading
altogether and suggest the notion of a talking fish is
as fictional as Tony Soprano's talking-fish dream in
an episode of The Sopranos . 

Stand-up comedians have already incorporated the carp
into their comedy routines at weddings. One gefilte
company has considered changing it's slogan to: 'Our
fish speaks for itself.' 

Still, the shouting carp corresponds with the belief
of some Hasidic sects that righteous people can be
reincarnated as fish. They say that Nivelo may have
been selected because he is not Jewish, but a weary
Nivelo told the New York Times : 'I wish I never said
anything about it. I'm getting so many calls every
day, I've stopped answering. Israel, London, Miami,
Brooklyn. They all want to hear about the talking
fish.' 

A devout Christian, he still thinks the carp was the
Devil. 'I don't believe any of this Jewish stuff. But
I heard that fish talk.' 

He's grown tired of the whole thing. 'It's just a big
headache for me,' he added. 'I pull my phone out of
the wall at night. I don't sleep and I've lost
weight.' 

<http://www.observer.co.uk/international/story/0,6903,915125,00.html>


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