np "Who decides what's bad? I do."

[Otto]

There's a well-written and witty passage in the 6th chapter
(The Spawn of Onan) of Neal Stephenson's "Cryptonomicon"
about the topic of the Information Superhighway called Internet:


Randy was forever telling people, without rancor, that they were full of
shit.
(...)
Then the topic of the Information Superhighway came up, and Randy could feel
faces turning in his direction like searchlights, casting almost palpable
warmth on his skin.
Dr. G. E. B. Kivistik had a few things to say about the Information
Superhighway. He was a fiftyish Yale professor who had just flown in from
someplace that had sounded really cool and impressive when he had gone out
of his way to mention it several times. His name was Finnish, but he was
British as only a non-British Anglophile could be. Ostensibly he was here to
attend War as Text. Really he was there to recruit Charlene, and really
really (Randy suspected) to fuck her. This was probably not true at all, but
just a symptom of how wacked out Randy was getting by this point. Dr. G. E.
B. Kivistik had been showing up on television pretty frequently. Dr. G. E.
B. Kivistik had a couple of books out. Dr. G. E. B. Kivistik was, in short,
parlaying his strongly contrarian view of the Information Superhighway into
more air time than anyone who hadn't been accused of blowing up a day care
center should get.
(...)
Randy had ruined his relationship with Charlene by wanting to have kids.
Kids raise issues. Charlene, like all of her friends, couldn't handle
issues. Issues meant disagreement. Voicing disagreement was a form of
conflict. Conflict, acted out openly and publicly, was a male mode of social
interaction--the foundation for patriarchal society which brought with it
the usual litany of dreadful things. Regardless, Randy decided to get
patriarchal with Dr. G. E. B. Kivistik.
"How many slums will we bulldoze to build the Information Superhighway?"
Kivistik said. This profundity was received with thoughtful nodding around
the table.
(...)
"You don't have to bulldoze anything. There's nothing there to bulldoze,"
Jon pleaded.
"Very well, let me put it this way," Kivistik said magnanimously--he was not
above dumbing down his material for the likes of Jon. "How many on-ramps
will connect the world's ghettos to the Information Superhighway?"
(...)
Jon looked helplessly over at Randy, signaling for help. (...)
The words came out of Randy's mouth before he had time to think better of
it. "The Information Superhighway is just a fucking metaphor! Give me a
break!" he said.
(...)
"That doesn't tell me very much," Kivistik said. "Everything is a metaphor.
The word 'fork' is a metaphor for this object." He held up a fork. "All
discourse is built from metaphors."
"That's no excuse for using bad metaphors," Randy said.
"Bad? Bad? Who decides what is bad?" Kivistik said,
(...)
Randy could see where it was going. Kivistik had gone for the usual
academician's ace in the hole: everything is relative, it's all just
differing perspectives. People had already begun to resume their little side
conversations, thinking that the conflict was over, when Randy gave them all
a start with: "Who decides what's bad? I do."
Even Dr. G. E. B. Kivistik was flustered. He wasn't sure if Randy was
joking. "Excuse me?"
(...)
"It's like this," he said. "I've read your book. I've seen you on TV. I've
heard you tonight. I personally typed up a list of your credentials when I
was preparing press materials for this conference. So I know that you're not
qualified to have an opinion about technical issues.''
"Oh," Kivistik said in mock confusion, "I didn't realize one had to have
qualifications."
"I think it's clear," Randy said, "that if you are ignorant of a particular
subject, that your opinion is completely worthless. If I'm sick, I don't ask
a plumber for advice. I go to a doctor. Likewise, if I have questions about
the Internet, I will seek opinions from people who know about it."
-----------------------------------

I really do recommend this novel. Stephenson may not have the pynchonian
depth but he's definitely worth reading.

Otto