NPPF: Notes Line 286

[Glenn Scheper]

Reading all of the links I posted, one most illuminates shade:
http://www.shu.ac.uk/emls/03-2/fittnoct.html
The Poetic Nocturne: From Ancient Motif to Renaissance Genre

and reminds me how, in the early days of mental illness, some
nights were intolerable, for I would lie awake agonizing over
an irrecoverable point of form, like failing to say "Hi" back
to someone passed in a hall, and how can I face them tomorrow,
and once the night fled, how will I even survive this morrow?

But later, mastery of night led to all-night tantric vigils.

I mentioned Pan, and find him compared to Heracles, who after
his 12 labors, was trapped in an omphalos (navel) and performs
additional labors in a feminine garb. This makes me want to
elaborate my Pan, as if mythology could be reduced to recipe:

After the annointing caused my paps to moisten, and I suckled,
I assumed full lotus position (my right foot upon the sea, and
left foot upon the earth, for his androgyny) and precisely (as
opposed to scattered mentations and actions) left-hand masturb-
ated upon my navel.

This immediately caused spinning, a near swoon, and apparently
physically existant symbols moving in the space about my body,
like pentagram stars raining down from my crown as if spilled.

I also became doubled, the lotus me sitting in the bunk of our
motorhome, facing south, seeing a standing me, who facing east
saw the lotus me fly forward in a helix which chords traversed.

I think it the next or a prior day, I sware myself unto truth.

Then there were a few days in which each night shone as bright
as the intervening days, but unnoticed by normal people around.

Now if I am not confusing my episodes, it ended when I sat out
in a park all night, attracting three dogs; had an epiphay of
being cast into hell, actually swallowing that motorhome; and
sat down in lotus position until someone called the cops, who
consoled me, and restored my humanity simply by sharing a cig.
before delivering me to the hospital, to the impotent doctors.

Relation to Hermes makes me also want to mention a Doors lyric,
~ "... wings, where we had shoulders smooth as raven's claws,"
made me see that AF forelegs form the classically positioned
wings of angels represented in art, and wings of Hermes' cap.
 
Yours truly,
Glenn Scheper
http://home.earthlink.net/~glenn_scheper/
glenn_scheper + at + earthlink.net
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