kids born in the _Vineland_ mid-'80s

[pynchonoid]

BELOIT COLLEGE RELEASES THE MINDSET LIST FOR THE CLASS
OF 2007 

[...]

THE BELOIT COLLEGE MINDSET LIST FOR THE CLASS OF 2007®


Most students entering college this fall were born in
1985:

1. Ricky Nelson, Richard Burton, Samantha Smith, Laura
Ashley, Orson Welles, Karen Ann Quinlin, Benigno
Aquino, and the U.S. Football League have always been
dead.

2. They are not familiar with the source of that
“Giant Sucking Sound.”

3. Iraq has always been a problem.

4. “Ctrl + Alt + Del” is as basic as “ABC.”

5. Paul Newman has always made salad dressing.

6. Pete Rose has always been a gambler.

7. Bert and Ernie are old enough to be their parents.

8. An automatic is a weapon, not a transmission.

9. Russian leaders have always looked like leaders
everyplace else. 

10. The snail darter has never been endangered.

11. There has always been a screening test for AIDS.

12. Gas has always been unleaded.

13. They never heard Howard Cosell call a game on ABC.

14. The United States has always had a Poet Laureate. 

15. Garrison Keillor has always been live on public
radio and Lawrence Welk has always been dead on public
television.

16. Their families drove SUVs without “being fuelish.”

17. There has always been some association between
fried eggs and your brain. 

18. They would never leave their calling card on
someone’s desk.

19. They have never been able to find the “return”
key.

20. Computers have always fit in their backpacks.

21. Datsuns have never been made.

22. They have never gotten excited over a telegram, a
long distance call, or a fax.

23. The Osmonds are just talk show hosts.

24. Undergraduate college athletes have always been a
part of the NBA and NFL draft.

25. They have always “grazed” for food.

26. Three-point shots from “downtown” have always been
a part of basketball.

27. Test tube babies are now having their own babies.

28. Stores have always had scanners at the checkout.

29. The Army has always driven Humvees.

30. Adam and PC Junior computers had vanished from the
market before this generation went online.

31. The Statue of Liberty has always had a gleaming
torch.

32. They have always had a PIN number.

33. Banana Republic has always been a store, not a
puppet government in Latin America.

34. Car detailing has always been available.

35. Directory assistance has never been free.

36. The Jaycees have always welcomed women as members.

37. There has always been Lean Cuisine.

38. They have always been able to fly Virgin Atlantic.

39. There have never been dress codes in restaurants.

40. Doctors have always had to deal with “reasonable
and customary fees” and patients have always had
controls placed on the number of days they could stay
in a hospital.

41. They have always been able to make photocopies at
home. 

42. Michael Eisner has always been in charge of
Disney.

43. They have always been able to make phone calls
from planes.

44. Yuppies are almost as old as hippies.

45. Rupert Murdoch has always been an American
citizen.

46. Strawberry Fields has always been in New York.

47. Rock and Roll has always been a force for social
good.

48. Killer bees have always been swarming in the U.S.

49. They have never seen a First Lady in a fur coat.

50. Don Imus has always been offending someone in his
national audience.

In all fairness it should be understood that students
entering college this fall do have a few items on
their own lists that will separate them from many of
their mentors: 

1. For many of them today, it’s all about the “bling,
bling.”

2. They know who the “Heroes in a half shell” are.

3. Peeps are not a candy, they are your friends.

4. They have been “dissing”and “burning” things all
their lives.

5. They can expect to get a ticket for “ricing out
their wheels.”

6. They knew how to pop a Popple and trade a Pog.

7. They can still sing the rap chorus to the “Fresh
Prince of Bel-Air” and the theme song from “Duck
Tales.”


© 2002 Beloit College, Beloit, Wisconsin


<http://www.beloit.edu/%7Epubaff/releases/2003/03mindsetlist.html>

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