WARNING! Do not drink liquids while reading this.

[joeallonby]

It might come out of your nose.

I thought the entire thread was worth passing along. My favorite lines are:

>Think there might be a reason all the fucking monuments are up here in our
backyard?

>And I wouldn't be so fucking arrogant if I wasn't paying for your fucking
bridges, bitch.

Personally, I think it should be "weren't paying for your fucking bridges",
but I'm a product of the Massachusetts public school system. Go figure.


And:
>I feel more patriotic already.

----------
From: joeallonby <vze422fs at verizon.net>
Date: Tue, 16 Nov 2004 15:43:20 -0500
To: Deleted

Subject: Re: Fuck the South

Yes! I've been saying something similar for weeks. Contraction not
secession. Let's throw them out and go back to the original thirteen and
make them all apply for readmission. Condition number one is the acceptance
of the theory of evolution. Screw 'em. Nothing but a bunch of welfare
witches going on about "values". Have you ever tried to get a cup of coffee
at an alleged convenience store in North Carolina? It takes a fucking week.

Peace,
Joe

on 11/16/04 8:31 AM, Dan Zarin at  wrote:

> I feel more patriotic already.
> 
> Begin forwarded message:
> 
>> From: "Lisa Perkins"
>> Date: November 15, 2004 8:11:09 PM EST
>> To: "Dan Zarin" 
>> Subject: Fuck the South
>> 
>> This, forwarded to me from my fatherŠ.so, it must be okay to pass it
>> alongŠ.
>> Thought you¹d get a kick out of it. Didn¹t dare send it to you at work.
>> : )
>> 
>> Lisa
>> 
>> 
>> Fuck the South. Fuck 'em. We should have let Œem go
>> 
>> when they wanted to leave. But no, we had to kill half
>> 
>> a million people so they'd stay part of our special
>> 
>> Union. Fighting for the right to keep slaves - yeah,
>> 
>> those are states we want to keep.
>> 
>> 
>> And now what do we get? We're the fucking Arrogant
>> 
>> Northeast Liberal Elite? How about this for arrogant:
>> 
>> the South is the Real America? The Authentic America.
>> 
>> Really?
>> 
>> 
>> Cause we fucking founded this country, assholes. Those
>> 
>> Founding Fathers you keep going on and on about? All
>> 
>> that bullshit about what you think they meant by the
>> 
>> Second Amendment giving you the right to keep your
>> 
>> assault weapons in the glove compartment because you
>> 
>> didn't bother to read the first half of the fucking
>> 
>> sentence? Who do you think those wig-wearing
>> 
>> lacy-shirt sporting revolutionaries were? They were
>> 
>> fucking blue-staters, dickhead. Boston? Philadelphia?
>> 
>> New York? Hello? Think there might be a reason all the
>> 
>> fucking monuments are up here in our backyard?
>> 
>> 
>> No, No. Get the fuck out. We're not letting you visit
>> 
>> the Liberty Bell and fucking Plymouth Rock anymore
>> 
>> until you get over your real American selves and start
>> 
>> respecting those other nine amendments. Who do you
>> 
>> think those fucking stripes on the flag are for? Nine
>> 
>> are for fucking blue states. And it would be 10 if
>> 
>> those Vermonters had gotten their fucking Subarus
>> 
>> together and broken off from New York a little
>> 
>> earlier. Get it? We started this shit, so don't get
>> 
>> all uppity about how real you are you
>> 
>> Johnny-come-lately "Oooooh I've been a state for
>> 
>> almost a hundred years" dickheads. Fuck off.
>> 
>> 
>> Arrogant? You wanna talk about us Northeasterners
>> 
>> being fucking arrogant? What's more American than
>> 
>> arrogance? Hmmm? Maybe horsies? I don't think so.
>> 
>> Arrogance is the fucking cornerstone of what it means
>> 
>> to be American. And I wouldn't be so fucking arrogant
>> 
>> if I wasn't paying for your fucking bridges, bitch.
>> 
>> 
>> All those Federal taxes you love to hate? It all comes
>> 
>> from us and goes to you, so shut up and enjoy your
>> 
>> fucking Tennessee Valley Authority electricity and
>> 
>> your fancy highways that we paid for. And the next
>> 
>> time Florida gets hit by a hurricane you can come
>> 
>> crying to us if you want to, but you're the ones who
>> 
>> built on a fucking swamp. "Let the Spanish keep it,
>> 
>> it1s a shithole," we said, but you had to have your
>> 
>> fucking orange juice.
>> 
>> 
>> The next dickwad who says, "It1s your money, not the
>> 
>> government's money" is gonna get their ass kicked.
>> 
>> Nine of the ten states that get the most federal
>> 
>> fucking dollars and pay the least... can you guess? Go
>> 
>> on, guess. That1s right, motherfucker, they're red
>> 
>> states. And eight of the ten states that receive the
>> 
>> least and pay the most? It1s too easy, asshole,
>> 
>> they1re blue states. It1s not your money, assholes,
>> 
>> it1s fucking our money. What was that Real American
>> 
>> Value you were spouting a minute ago? Self reliance?
>> 
>> Try this for self reliance: buy your own fucking stop
>> 
>> signs, assholes.
>> 
>> 
>> Let1s talk about those values for a fucking minute.
>> 
>> You and your Southern values can bite my ass because
>> 
>> the blue states got the values over you fucking Real
>> 
>> Americans every day of the goddamn week. Which state
>> 
>> do you think has the lowest divorce rate you
>> 
>> marriage-hyping dickwads? Well? Can you guess? It1s
>> 
>> fucking Massachusetts, the fucking center of the gay
>> 
>> marriage universe. Yes, that1s right, the state you
>> 
>> love to tie around the neck of anyone to the left of
>> 
>> Strom Thurmond has the lowest divorce rate in the
>> 
>> fucking nation. Think that1s just some aberration? How
>> 
>> about this: 9 of the 10 lowest divorce rates are
>> 
>> fucking blue states, asshole, and most are in the
>> 
>> Northeast, where our values suck so bad. And where are
>> 
>> the highest divorce rates? Care to fucking guess? 10
>> 
>> of the top 10 are fucking red-ass
>> 
>> we're-so-fucking-moral states. And while Nevada is the
>> 
>> worst, the Bible Belt is doing its fucking part.
>> 
>> 
>> But two guys making out is going to fucking ruin
>> 
>> marriage for you? Yeah? Seems like you're ruining it
>> 
>> pretty well on your own, you little bastards. Oh, but
>> 
>> that's ok because you go to church, right? I mean you
>> 
>> do, right? Cause we fucking get to hear about it every
>> 
>> goddamn year at election time. Yes, we're fascinated
>> 
>> by how you get up every Sunday morning and sing, and
>> 
>> then you're fucking towers of moral superiority. Yeah,
>> 
>> that's a workable formula. Maybe us fucking
>> 
>> Northerners don't talk about religion as much as you
>> 
>> because we're not so busy sinning, hmmm? Ever think of
>> 
>> that, you self-righteous assholes? No, you're too busy
>> 
>> erecting giant stone tablets of the Ten Commandments
>> 
>> in buildings paid for by the fucking Northeast Liberal
>> 
>> Elite. And who has the highest murder rates in the
>> 
>> nation? It ain't us up here in the North, assholes.
>> 
>> 
>> Well this gravy train is fucking over. Take your
>> 
>> liberal-bashing, federal-tax-leaching,
>> 
>> confederate-flag-waving, holier-than-thou,
>> 
>> hypocritical bullshit and shove it up your ass.
>> 
>> 
>> And no, you can't have your fucking convention in New
>> 
>> York next time. Fuck off.
>> 
>> 
>> 
>> 
>>  
>