Snappycrossdresser

[Dave Monroe]

Baseball is different from any other sport, very
different. For instance, in most sports you score
points or goals; in baseball you score runs. In most
sports the ball, or object, is put in play by the
offensive team; in baseball the defensive team puts
the ball in play, and only the defense is allowed to
touch the ball. In fact, in baseball if an offensive
player touches the ball intentionally, he's out;
sometimes unintentionally, he's out.

Also: in football,basketball, soccer, volleyball, and
all sports played with a ball, you score with the ball
and in baseball the ball prevents you from scoring.

In most sports the team is run by a coach; in baseball
the team is run by a manager. And only in baseball
does the manager or coach wear the same clothing the
players do. If you'd ever seen John Madden in his
Oakland Raiders uniform,you'd know the reason for this
custom.

Now, I've mentioned football. Baseball & football are
the two most popular spectator sports in this country.
And as such, it seems they ought to be able to tell us
something about ourselves and our values.

I enjoy comparing baseball and football:

Baseball is a nineteenth-century pastoral game.
Football is a twentieth-century technological
struggle.

Baseball is played on a diamond, in a park. The
baseball park!
Football is played on a gridiron, in a stadium,
sometimes called Soldier Field or War Memorial
Stadium.

Baseball begins in the spring, the season of new life.
Football begins in the fall, when everything's dying.

In football you wear a helmet.
In baseball you wear a cap.

Football is concerned with downs - what down is it?
Baseball is concerned with ups - who's up?

In football you receive a penalty.
In baseball you make an error.

In football the specialist comes in to kick.
In baseball the specialist comes in to relieve
somebody.

Football has hitting, clipping, spearing, piling on,
personal fouls, late hitting and unnecessary
roughness.
Baseball has the sacrifice.

Football is played in any kind of weather: rain, snow,
sleet, hail, fog...
In baseball, if it rains, we don't go out to play.

Baseball has the seventh inning stretch.
Football has the two minute warning.

Baseball has no time limit: we don't know when it's
gonna end - might have extra innings.
Football is rigidly timed, and it will end even if
we've got to go to sudden death.

In baseball, during the game, in the stands, there's
kind of a picnic feeling; emotions may run high or
low, but there's not too much unpleasantness.
In football, during the game in the stands, you can be
sure that at least twenty-seven times you're capable
of taking the life of a fellow human being.

And finally, the objectives of the two games are
completely different:

In football the object is for the quarterback, also
known as the field general, to be on target with his
aerial assault, riddling the defense by hitting his
receivers with deadly accuracy in spite of the blitz,
even if he has to use shotgun. With short bullet
passes and long bombs, he marches his troops into
enemy territory, balancing this aerial assault with a
sustained ground attack that punches holes in the
forward wall of the enemy's defensive line.

In baseball the object is to go home! And to be safe!
I hope I'll be safe at home!

http://www.baseball-almanac.com/humor7.shtml

--- Paul Mackin <paul.mackin at verizon.net> wrote:

> On Sun, 2004-10-17 at 00:39, Otto wrote:
>
> > This is a bit like punting on 2nd and 6, and
> > claiming that, had you continued to play, you 
> > would have scored a touchdown.
> 
> Sounds good but I have to admit that I haven't
> got the slightest idea of Baseball. It is really
> something that I don't understand about the
> Americans. 
> 
> Now that is TRULY funny. Guess we Americans need to
> better explain ourselves to the world.
>
> Bless you Otto.

God bless us all, ev'ryone ...


		
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