Snappycrossdresser

[joeallonby]

Thank you George Carlin. Now, Go Sox!

on 10/17/04 12:23 PM, Dave Monroe at monropolitan at yahoo.com wrote:

> Baseball is different from any other sport, very
> different. For instance, in most sports you score
> points or goals; in baseball you score runs. In most
> sports the ball, or object, is put in play by the
> offensive team; in baseball the defensive team puts
> the ball in play, and only the defense is allowed to
> touch the ball. In fact, in baseball if an offensive
> player touches the ball intentionally, he's out;
> sometimes unintentionally, he's out.
> 
> Also: in football,basketball, soccer, volleyball, and
> all sports played with a ball, you score with the ball
> and in baseball the ball prevents you from scoring.
> 
> In most sports the team is run by a coach; in baseball
> the team is run by a manager. And only in baseball
> does the manager or coach wear the same clothing the
> players do. If you'd ever seen John Madden in his
> Oakland Raiders uniform,you'd know the reason for this
> custom.
> 
> Now, I've mentioned football. Baseball & football are
> the two most popular spectator sports in this country.
> And as such, it seems they ought to be able to tell us
> something about ourselves and our values.
> 
> I enjoy comparing baseball and football:
> 
> Baseball is a nineteenth-century pastoral game.
> Football is a twentieth-century technological
> struggle.
> 
> Baseball is played on a diamond, in a park. The
> baseball park!
> Football is played on a gridiron, in a stadium,
> sometimes called Soldier Field or War Memorial
> Stadium.
> 
> Baseball begins in the spring, the season of new life.
> Football begins in the fall, when everything's dying.
> 
> In football you wear a helmet.
> In baseball you wear a cap.
> 
> Football is concerned with downs - what down is it?
> Baseball is concerned with ups - who's up?
> 
> In football you receive a penalty.
> In baseball you make an error.
> 
> In football the specialist comes in to kick.
> In baseball the specialist comes in to relieve
> somebody.
> 
> Football has hitting, clipping, spearing, piling on,
> personal fouls, late hitting and unnecessary
> roughness.
> Baseball has the sacrifice.
> 
> Football is played in any kind of weather: rain, snow,
> sleet, hail, fog...
> In baseball, if it rains, we don't go out to play.
> 
> Baseball has the seventh inning stretch.
> Football has the two minute warning.
> 
> Baseball has no time limit: we don't know when it's
> gonna end - might have extra innings.
> Football is rigidly timed, and it will end even if
> we've got to go to sudden death.
> 
> In baseball, during the game, in the stands, there's
> kind of a picnic feeling; emotions may run high or
> low, but there's not too much unpleasantness.
> In football, during the game in the stands, you can be
> sure that at least twenty-seven times you're capable
> of taking the life of a fellow human being.
> 
> And finally, the objectives of the two games are
> completely different:
> 
> In football the object is for the quarterback, also
> known as the field general, to be on target with his
> aerial assault, riddling the defense by hitting his
> receivers with deadly accuracy in spite of the blitz,
> even if he has to use shotgun. With short bullet
> passes and long bombs, he marches his troops into
> enemy territory, balancing this aerial assault with a
> sustained ground attack that punches holes in the
> forward wall of the enemy's defensive line.
> 
> In baseball the object is to go home! And to be safe!
> I hope I'll be safe at home!
> 
> http://www.baseball-almanac.com/humor7.shtml
> 
> --- Paul Mackin <paul.mackin at verizon.net> wrote:
> 
>> On Sun, 2004-10-17 at 00:39, Otto wrote:
>> 
>>> This is a bit like punting on 2nd and 6, and
>>> claiming that, had you continued to play, you
>>> would have scored a touchdown.
>> 
>> Sounds good but I have to admit that I haven't
>> got the slightest idea of Baseball. It is really
>> something that I don't understand about the
>> Americans. 
>> 
>> Now that is TRULY funny. Guess we Americans need to
>> better explain ourselves to the world.
>> 
>> Bless you Otto.
> 
> God bless us all, ev'ryone ...
> 
> 
> 
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