Jolly, you are my bitch.

[joeallonby]

Since my mother isn't monitoring my internet use, I can actually type out
the bad words. I can spell them correctly, even without a spell checker.

You are a sniveling little cunt. You don't have the balls to download porn.
The children of your neighborhood are in danger from you.

You have never had a date. You don't even have the confidence to masturbate.
So, I realize that telling you to fuck yourself is futile. You are incapable
of fucking anything.

I know that you secretly long for the day when your hemorrhoids are
particularly inflamed. You wait for me to show up with the unlubed electric
cattle prod. I know that you are dying for it.

But guess what?

It will never happen. You will have to hire a professional. Don't worry. It
will show up discreetly on your mother's Mastercard bill. She won't mind
anyway. She's too busy sucking my cock while your father beats off and shits
on the floor. That's nothing compared to what your maid is doing to your dog
with a strap on dildo.

I'm sorry your Mommy was so mean to you. But have you checked out those
tits? Oh. I'm sorry. You were a bottle baby. Just for the record, they're
flabby but big and lots of fun.

Have a nice day at boarding school. It must be lonely for you there.

Joe