"ass-to-ass!" (was: why doable chicks don't like pynchon)

[Joel Katz]

alright, i'm countin' three women here.

i think we can all agree that the appeal of pynch to males is essentially 
masturbatory--part adolescent fixation, part sublimation of accumulative and 
competitive urges (rooted in adolescence, natch) in 'smart' men who neither 
get laid enough nor make enough money), just as we can all agree that the 
only comprehensible reason for women to like pynch is that they are, for 
some other reason, probably pathic in origin, attracted to the type of men 
who like pynch.

as the decline in the quantity of women on this list far exceeds any 
corresponding increase in the infant or post-weaning mortality rate in the 
general population, one has to surmise a significant decline in the 
viability of the pynchon-fetishizing male as a sexual-object choice for 
alienated, liberal-arts-school-attending females of the amorous, if 
shaky-handed, persuasion.  history has apparently renderered its verdict on 
the long-term aesthetic significance and meme-bearing potential of the 
author as on the value of your seed.  and the answer, my pasty friends, is:  
I'M SEEING SOMEONE ELSE.

so, let's get the show on the road.  new hampshire, the catskills?  bekah, 
meg, and i think her name was jodie switch positions and do stuff for us.  
we watch and touch ourselves.  a screaming comes across the sky......

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