Bad sex scenes

[Ya Sam]

These award-winning passages from 2003 might have been mentioned here 
already . Still, it's been a while since I have laughed that loud.

just some pearls:

"She's taking off her blouse. It's on the floor. Her breasts are placards 
for the endomorphically endowed"

"They each cling to opposite sides of the mattress, well away from the vast 
lagoon of semen in the centre of the bed, a thick coldness which will still 
be damp when Paul awakes the next morning."

"When she and Victoria had done it, it had been like trying out some strange 
Japanese cuisine, something that wriggled, still alive, in a dish."

"he reached up between her legs and plunged two fingers into her vulva, and 
began to probe her vaginal canal, as if he was searching for lost car keys."

http://books.guardian.co.uk/news/articles/0,6109,1099719,00.html

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