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[Glenn Scheper]

> > There's just got to be a connection between this debate and autofellatio....
> > Glenn?  Any suggestions? 

> To a man with a hammer...

I should probably second Joe's succinct answer
lest I ramble, as everything connects.

I'm no gun guy. Actually bolo'ed in the Army. Records were fixed.

The main thing is the time I was so stoned with people so stoned,
nearly to stupor, and one fellow seems to mutter "shotgun" to me.
I took it as his miraculously obtained knowledge that I had that
unique and irremediable sin of blowing myself, and was condemned.

Another time, years later, I watched a young boy with red and blue
plastic pistols shooting at a girl in a red dress. I noted it as
possible archetypal symbol: X and Y chromosomes; XX chromosomes.

But about baseball, I could never hit. But in later years while in
the VA pysch ward, I found I could hit every time if I considered
the bat as a penile extension. Of course the homophobic part of me
was saying, "But what about that another man is pitching the ball?"

On homophobic, I had a student therapist, nearly bald, and resisted
his attempts to open any empathy or transferance as too homoerotic.
Neither could I tell him the core problem, that I fellated myself,
because on my first hospitalization, I told a male aide that, and he
took it upon himself to close the door and slam me into the wall, so
that I should understand how really bad that was, so that I should
never bring it up. It was provided of God (or a CIA Monarch program?)
to be sure I would stew in my private pressure cooker for many years.

But his bald head reminded me of the nose of a rocket ship. Rockets
as well as atomic bombs were big in my psychoses. Sometimes when I
was slipping toward psychotic, I would go around the valley and see
the new "self-storage" facilities, whose sign was on a tall pillar.
The pillar seemed like a rocket ship that I could store my self in,
and blast off.

Reminds me of asking someone where I could find a church, and it had
to be one with a cross on it, not a spire, because I believed that a
spire could fall off and penetrate me.

But remember Jung's incredible notion of God defecating from heaven.

But of guns, I'd rather be shot than shooter,
for the Lord says Turn the other cheek;
Give place to wrath; Vengence is Mine.

Yours truly,
Glenn Scheper
http://home.earthlink.net/~glenn_scheper/
glenn_scheper + at + earthlink.net
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