correction (still OT)

[mikebailey at speakeasy.net]

season 11 & 12 would have to be on cable

Joey decides to buy the apartment building,
and live in "the" apartment" (he's the only
one who never did, right?)

Rachel, not Joey, held onto the handcuffs
(I should explain that when Rachel and Joey
tried to get together, she kept slapping him
involuntarily right when he started his 3rd move)

Ross - totally crushed when Rachel stood firm - 
goes gay, hooks up with ?

Rachel on a visit back to NYC,
ignored and rejected by Ross,
sends love signals to Joey, nudging him
out of a serious relationship
he's been developing with, say, the adoption lady
(he actually remembered her name!)

He, Chandler and Monica visit Paris, and
while they get lost in the sewers (always good for a laugh)
Rachel handcuffs Joey and won't let him out
until he agrees to show her all 6 of his moves
which he heard about from Chandler...

even when she lets him out, he can't perform
because of his loyalty to Ross...
until she tells him the backpacking story
(and this time we get to actually hear it)

Rachel starts her own line and moves back
to New York; ? and Chandler have a 
fling; Chandler's father arrives and in a
series of tear-jerking conversations, helps
Chandler realize that the latter is not, in fact,
gay, while resolving many of the childhood
problems Chandler's been carrying around.  
During make-up sex, Monica and Chandler,
against all expectations, conceive a child

Ross - devastated from the loss of ?
(his jealousy issues haven't stopped) -
becomes an anarchist.  While reading Kenneth
Rexroth, he hears about Anglican Catholicism
and reads the New Testament that he took from
the hotel in Barbados.
Joins a monastery upstate.  Doesn't tell anybody
except his parents.  Elliot Gould gets more
scenes with Christina Pickles.

Rachel designs new vestments, and the Pope makes
a cameo; Ross sees her name in the 2006 edition
of the "Big Ecumenical Book of Comparative Religion"
but sighs (retrospective episode with 
the many, many painful scenes from his and her 
various attempts)

Rachel's parents get back together.  At their
wedding reception, Elliott Gould gets drunk
and leaks Ross's location to Chandler.

Couple-three retrospective episodes (budget)
Thanksgiving without Ross
Christmas - Ross has an epiphany in the Chapel
at the monastery, Rachel loses a power struggle
for control of her board.

Joey can't forget the adoption lady, but
doesn't know what to do about it, since Rachel's
going through such a tough time.  
While they're all in the waiting room 
at the hospital during Monica's labor (I for
one would feel my life more meaningful if I
could hear Courteney Cox Arquette simulating
labor cries) - Chandler lets it slip about where
Ross is in front of everybody.

Nature, Rachel, and Phoebe (who, along with
Mike, has a massage parlor/piano bar on the 
ground floor of the apartment building, a petting
zoo on the roof, and has persuaded Joey to make
the whole operation a subsidized low-income co-op
filled with Phoebe's friends) orchestrate the big
reconciliation, and Ross & Rachel get married.
He gets to ride a Harley to the reception, with
Rachel in the sidecar with a windshield.

-- whew, now that's more or less out of my system --