ATDTDA (17): And so forth, 484-485

[Paul Nightingale]

Knowledge is a "fatal gate they'd both been so afraid of". Deuce, as
demonstrated earlier, is compelled to explain (previously, a "pursuit of her
forgiveness", 474); for her part, Lake is compelled to claim a lack of
interest (previously, the 'what-if' passage on 483). He wishes to flood
their relationship with knowledge; she uses her ignorance to keep him at a
distance. Deuce's MO is based on "unmanly pleading" (484); he believed what
he was told. Lake tells him to go see a lawyer: this is not how he should
talk to Webb's daughter, even one estranged. And then the editorial insert:
"Was this her own voice?" Cf. the 'loss' of her voice as a character when
authoring the diary on 483: not so much a 'loss' of course as a means to
disguising it as the voice of an author. She resorts to fiction ("tales of
romance in the ladies' magazines", 484) to judge him. Cf. Tace's sardonic
comment when Lake, earlier, insisted that Deuce might be reformed: "And
you're just the angel o' damn mercy" (482).

Going nowhere, their relationship is confined to these repetitions, each is
found 'quoting' what they consider conventional behaviour (Deuce) or
thinking (Lake): 'conventional' of course meaning 'to be imitated'.
Moreover, his pleading ("They told me ..." etc, 484) echoes her thoughts
earlier, as though she has 'written' his dialogue. He insists "I was only
their instrument", a denial of responsibility and agency; but in the playing
out he has become her instrument. And then reality breaks in with chores she
cannot avoid ("there was no way around that", 484), just as Tace, escaping
Eugene, is accompanied by "Boilster babies" (482). Here, we are reminded,
reality is in stark contrast to earlier "daydreaming" (483).

However, desire is the constant, "the really strange thing" (484; earlier,
"somebody she had come to hate everything about, except when he put his
hands on her", 483).