Palin/Vineland

[Robin Landseadel]

Wasilla is home to 9,780 people, hundreds of small businesses,
a dozen evangelical Christian churches, and a handful of gun
stores. The churches are places where many of the faithful see
signs that judgment day cannot be far away and where the
infallibility of the Bible is rarely, if ever, questioned. The gun
stores are places where you can pick up the new Ruger 10/22
carbine, the one that comes in bright pink with a 10-round
magazine - "perfect for your wife or daughter".

http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/2008/oct/10/uselections2008-sarahpalin1

"Well good afternoon pretty lady and how fine you're looking, I'm sure  
in
another setting and mood we'd all like to know you as a person with your
many fine points and so on like that, but from your fashion message I  
can
tell that you are a sensitive type person who'll appreciate the  
problem we
have here in terms of orientational vibes, if you follow-"

The already confused Zoyd, whose survival instincts may not have been
working all the way up to spec, decided to produce the chain saw from  
his
bag. "Buster," he called plaintively to the owner behind the bar,  
"where's
the media?" The implement attracted immediate attention from everyone
in the room, not all of it technical curiosity. It was a tailor-made  
lady's chain
saw, "tough enough for timber," as the commercials said, "but petite  
enough
for a purse." The guide bar, handle grips, and housing were faced in
genuine mother-of-pearl, and spelled out in rhinestones on the bar,
surrounded by sawteeth ready to buzz, was the name of the young woman
he'd borrowed it from, which onlookers took to be Zoyd's drag name,  
CHERYL.

"Easy there cowgirl, now things're just fine," the logger stepping  
back as Zoyd,
he hoped demurely, yanked at a silk cord on a dainty starter pulley,  
and the
lady's pearl-handled chain saw spun into action.

"Listen to that li'l honey purr."

Vineland, page 6
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