My buddies and I want to be blimp pilots. What do we do?

[Dave Monroe]

My buddies and I want to be blimp pilots. What do we do?
March 27, 2009
Dear Cecil:

My buddies and I have been considering (while drinking) the idea of
becoming "airship pilots." I put this in quotation marks because we
cannot find any information on how this (possibly fictitious)
profession could be pursued. We have looked into both purchasing an
airship and gaining the credentials to pilot one. We cannot find any
information beyond stuff about owning amateur hot air balloons. We are
frustrated (and possibly drunk) and desperately need to know a few
things only you can answer. First, how do you obtain pilot status for
an airship? And second, how can we buy our own airship, zeppelin, or
dirigible?

— The three "airship captains"

Cecil replies:

Fictitious? What makes you think airship piloting is fictitious? You
think those are monkeys flying the Goodyear blimp? In fact an entire
federal department, the Federal Aviation Administration, is charged
with making sure airships and other airborne craft are operated by
qualified personnel, as opposed to, no offense, a bunch of drunks. If
you still want to do this once you sober up, here's how.

For technical consultation I turned to a longtime Straight Dope reader
and private pilot who calls herself Broomstick. She pointed out that
according to federal regulations you don't need a pilot's license to
build or fly an aircraft that (a) is made for one occupant, (b)
carries no more than five gallons of fuel, (c) can't go faster than 55
knots in level flight, and (d) has an empty weight of 254 pounds or
less. There are a few other restrictions: day operation only, no
flights over congested areas or crowds, etc. You don't even need
flying lessons, although I'd advise against going aloft with no clue
at all.

Without too much prep work, therefore, you could maybe get away with
flying a Larry Walters-style lawn-chair-and-weather-balloons rig out
in the middle of nowhere. (Southern Los Angeles, in case you're
thinking about re-creating Larry’s flight path, doesn't qualify as the
middle of nowhere.) But that's probably dinkier than what you had in
mind.

So we escalate. To pilot a real airship you're going to need some
certification, such as a sport pilot license with a "lighter-than-air
category rating with an airship class rating." In addition to basic
pilot training (i.e., in flying a plane), this requires about 20 hours
of airship flight training, with 3 hours as pilot in command. It's
technically possible to get a sport pilot license for airships only,
but good luck finding an airship instructor willing to take on someone
with no pilot certification and most likely no flight experience.
However you swing it, the license lets you fly during the day with one
passenger aboard.

Alternatively you could get a private pilot license for airships,
which is similar to the sport pilot license but requires more training
and skills. You'd need to fulfill the same basic requirements as
pilots of fixed-wing aircraft, which include medical certification.

But maybe you won't be happy with anything short of flying the
192-foot Goodyear blimp. Now you need a commercial pilot certificate,
and that's going to be a project. I won't list all the necessary
qualifications, but you're looking at 200 hours of total flight time,
including 30 as pilot in command, 40 of instrument flight time, and 5
of night visual flight time. Again, it's possible to start with no
flying experience and work your way up to hovering over football
stadiums strictly by flying airships, but it's unlikely. For one
thing, there aren't a lot of schools that teach commercial airship
flying, and those outfits that do are free to set high standards for
applicants. Goodyear, which runs its own program, says it's only
interested in licensed fixed-wing pilots with commercial instrument
and multi-engine ratings. I'll wager this isn't what you wanted to
hear, but Broomstick thinks the easiest route to airship captaincy is
getting a fixed-wing pilot's license, then adding airship
certification later.

Now: getting hold of an airship to fly. We tried calling Goodyear
about blimp rental, but they repeatedly blew us off — too many yo-yos
drunk-dialing at 2 AM, probably. However, we found a place called
Airship Ventures near San Francisco that will rent you an
honest-to-Jesus 246-foot-long Zeppelin NT for $5,750 per hour
including crew. If you want to do a little piloting, they offer a
day-long program that includes ground school and some stick time
starting at $3,500 — but you need your private pilot's license first.
Full-on pilot certification for the NT (includes extensive training
plus trips to Germany for simulator work and such) will cost about
$100,000 in fees and expenses. Finally, to buy your own Zeppelin-brand
zeppelin and associated ground systems, figure you'll be out about €12
million, or roughly $15 million. OK, maybe you could get one for a tad
less in this economy, but face it, kids — with that money you could
buy a lot of beer.

— Cecil Adams

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