NP - Delaware's Million Mastubators March

[David Morris]

http://www.borowitzreport.com/

WILMINGTON (The Borowitz Report) – Galvanized by Republican senatorial
nominee Christine O’Donnell’s anti-masturbation stance, masturbators
from across the state converged on Wilmington today in what some are
calling the largest pro-wanking protest in American history.

Carrying signs reading, “O’Donnell: Hands Off Our Masturbation,” the
angry masturbators clogged downtown Wilmington, stopping traffic for
blocks.

Harley Farger, a leading Delaware masturbator and planner of the
Million Masturbators March, said it was difficult to organize
masturbators “because they’re used to acting alone.”