Nose Job Poem in V. by Thomas Pynchon

[Dave Monroe]

Nose Job Poem in V. by Thomas Pynchon

"Have I told you, fella
She's got the sweetest columella
And a septum that's swept 'em all on their ass;
Each casual chondrectomy
Meant only a big fat check to me
Till I sawed this osteoclastible lass:

(Refrain:)
Till you've cut into Esther
You've cut nothing at all;
She's one of the best, Thir,
To her nose I'm in thrall.

She never acts nasty
But lies still as a rock;
She loves my rhinoplasty
But the others are schlock.

Esther is passive,
Her aplomb is massive,
How could any poor ass've
Ever passed her by?

And let me to you say
She puts Ireland to shame;
For her nose is retroussé
And Esther's her name...."

Thomas Pynchon, "V.," (New York: HarperCollins, 1999), 111-112.

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