Re: Bad Sex in Fiction Award Won by Huston Novel ‘Infrared’

[Ian Livingston]

Oh, but bad sex is so common. Someone ought to write about it, so those of
us who don't know well the unfortunate experience have some insight into
what makes it bad.

On Wed, Dec 5, 2012 at 10:24 AM, Keith Davis <kbob42 at gmail.com> wrote:

> Pun intended?
> On Dec 5, 2012 11:34 AM, "jochen stremmel" <jstremmel at gmail.com> wrote:
>
>> Tom Wolfe, for my money, from the erect tips down to the jockey in the
>> saddle, the riding and the swallowing - trite and corny bullshit at
>> its best.
>>
>> Compared with him, Huston seems original. And Mills is trying too hard
>> to top Joyce.
>>
>> 2012/12/5  <kelber at mindspring.com>:
>> > Wubbering?  Personally, I think Mills and Masters, with all their
>> fulcrating
>> > and digging, should have tied for first place.
>> >
>> > LK
>> >
>> > -----Original Message-----
>> > From: Johnny Marr
>> > Sent: Dec 5, 2012 9:22 AM
>> > To: Charles Albert
>> > Cc: Pynchon Liste
>> > Subject: Re: Bad Sex in Fiction Award Won by Huston Novel ‘Infrared’
>> >
>> > And the runners up (there can be no losers in this awards ceremony)
>> >
>> > The Quiddity of Will Self - Sam Mills
>> >
>> > oh, yes, oh, yes, oh, Will, oh, yes, oh, semen-bedizened
>> blood-pusillanimous
>> > bed onanistic quiddity fulcrating pelvic thrusts smoke thick
>> typewriter’s
>> > click-clack-click Will Our Cock is Spent screaming loving Will is
>> pleased
>> > Will is Saved I have done it I have done I am the Chosen One I am his
>> Chosen
>> > One oh Will for ever I am yours for ever I am yours for ever I am
>> >
>> > Noughties - Ben Masters
>> >
>> > We got up from the chair and she led me to her elfin grot, getting
>> amongst
>> > the pillows and cool sheets. We trawled each other’s bodies for every
>> inch
>> > of history. I dug after what I had always imagined and came up with even
>> > more
>> >
>> > Back to Blood - Tom Wolfe
>> >
>> > But then the tips of her breasts became erect on their own, and the
>> flood in
>> > her loins washed morals, despair, and all other abstract assessments
>> away in
>> > a cloud of some sort of divine cologne of his. Now his big generative
>> jockey
>> > was inside her pelvic saddle, riding, riding, riding, and she was
>> eagerly
>> > swallowing it swallowing it swallowing it with the saddle’s own lips
>> and maw
>> >
>> > Rare Earth - Paul Mason
>> >
>> > He switched to some ancient steppe language as he ejaculated,
>> blubbering and
>> > incoherent. Chun-li faked an orgasm, keeping her mind focused on an
>> > eighth-century lyric of sadness, and her face still as a lake in winter.
>> > Khünbish collapsed below the neck of the horse, where he clung now,
>> like a
>> > forlorn circus rider, as the steppe cacophony segued seamlessly into the
>> > kind of trickling-stream-plus-birdsong music they play in mental
>> hospitals
>> > to calm things down
>> >
>> > The Yips - Nicola Barker
>> >
>> > He knows her body now, even tightly sheathed and slippery as it is; a
>> ripe,
>> > red plum, its yellow flesh pressing out against the smooth arc of its
>> cool,
>> > fragrant skin. He understands the basic groundwork, has visited the
>> orchard
>> > like a hungry finch, has gorged on the fruit and rejected the pips, has
>> > explored the geography
>> >
>> > The Adventuress: The Irresistible Rise of Miss Cath Fox - Nicholas
>> Coleridge
>> >
>> > In seconds, the duke had lowered his trousers and boxers and positioned
>> > himself across a leather steamer trunk, emblazoned with the royal arms
>> of
>> > Hohenzollern Castle. ‘Give me no quarter,’ he commanded. ‘Lay it on
>> with all
>> > your might.’ Cath did as she was told, swishing the twigs hard onto the
>> > royal bottom
>> >
>> > The Divine Comedy - Craig Raine
>> >
>> > And he came. Like a wubbering springboard. His ejaculate jumped the
>> length
>> > of her arm. Eight diminishing gouts. The first too high for her to lick.
>> > Right on the shoulder.
>> >
>> >
>> >
>> >
>> > Kudos to Masters for inserting a Keats reference.
>>
>
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