expedition

[Mach Thomberi]

Pardon my French, but this sucks.  I mean whaddo I gotta wait for anyhow
you know?  I live on a boat.  They call it a ship of fools but that aint'
foolin' nobody.  It's on the Seine.

I don't gotta wait for nobody else to finish the expeditions into the base
of the brain.  What can I say, I got interested.  Whatever that crazy
sonbitch is talkin about.  Let's find out.  We got all summer.  Shake
things up a bit on this fuckin' boat.  Ive been here for what, 1400 years.
 Who gives a shit anymore.  Let's blow our minds.  So what was this kid up
to.  Some thing about being a hero.  Dosewise.  To dose or not to dose.
 Aint that the fuckin question.

If this gets passed the Mind Patrol.  The majordomo.  It's like cut the
paranoids some slack.  Have a frikkin heart over here.  It's a cold breeze
sometimes up this frikkin river.  Which concerns you more: losing your
mind.  Or absolute paranoia.  What's the freakin difference, right?  So I'm
not heroic.  Sue me.  I'll begin in the lower stratospheres of dosageness.
 So maybe nothing new will come of it.  Maybe I won't become more than
human.  In which case, if I got nothin to offer newnesswise, fuck it I'll
hold my eternal tongue.  If I sense anything that kid in central city
hasn't jotted down, maybe I will.

So I can't get off the boat.  That's where my pup comes in, dontcha girl.
 She's pure shitzu.  I call her Scazzabarrozzi.  You ready, lady?  Say
hello to the Pynchon people.  Oh you already have.  Alright.  Get your
backpack on here.  What I'm gonna do is have her go pick up the stuff, and
what else, a blindfold and sound cancelling headphones?  Check.  And a
Samsung Galaxy II S, for the hell of it.  Strap it to my forehead or
somethin.  Swallow it maybe.  Okay, go girl.

My first cousin Clovis made this boat.  The first ever ship of fools.  Made
it for me in 496, then thought it such a great idea he made others join me.
 The rest is history.  After the victory at Tolbiac we were partying hard
and I dared him to convert to Christianity.  Which was real fuckin cruel of
me because some Frankish blood bullshit in him forbid him to ever refuse a
dare.  And Clovis fucking hated the Chrisitians.  It was all real funny til
the next day when he sobered up a bit and learned he was now a Christian.
 Built the boat, put me on it.  Little did he know a bent dark witchy woman
climbed aboard, carrying these tiny royal blue mushrooms.  When she tossed
them on the table, they fell into a curious triangle.  She said if I mapped
it onto the earth...I couldn't remember that.  Locations, locations.  And I
was hungry.  I ate the royal blues.  Never aged again.  But I've never been
able to leave this frikkin boat...

Oh hey Scazzi, back so soon...?
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