PARACULTURAL CALENDAR FOR AUGUST 2

[Mark Thibodeau]

<http://fc06.deviantart.net/fs44/i/2009/061/8/5/Marijuana_Leaf_by_SLJones_photo.jpg>

On this day in *338 BC*, a Macedonian army led by *Philip II* defeatS the
combined forces of Athens and Thebes in the Battle of Chaeronea, securing
Macedonian hegemony in Greece and the Aegean.

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On this day in *216 BC*, the Carthaginian army led by *Hannibal* defeats a
numerically superior Roman army under command of consuls *Lucius Aemilius
Paullus* and *Gaius Terentius Varro*.

***

Predating disco by about six centuries, the first-ever *roller-skating
rink* opens
in London, England, on this day in the year *1375*.

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On this day in *1377*, Russian troops are defeated in the Battle on Pyana
River... because of drunkenness. Insert sad trombone note here.

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On this day in *1776*, the signing of the *United States Declaration of
Independence* takes place.

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On this day in *1790*, the first US Census is conducted.

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On this day in *1932*, the positron (antiparticle of the electron) is
discovered by *Carl D. Anderson*.

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On this day in *1937*, the *Marihuana Tax Act of 1937* is passed in
America, the effect of which is to render marijuana and all its by-products
illegal.

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On this day in *1939*, world-famous scientist *Albert Einstein* (and some
dude named *Leó Szilárd*) write a letter to*Franklin D. Roosevelt*, urging
him to begin the *Manhattan Project* to develop a nuclear weapon.

***

On this day in *1990*, after getting a green-light from U.S. ambassador *April
Glaspie*, Iraqi dictator *Saddam Hussein*orders his military to invade the
tiny neighboring monarchy of Kuwait, using weapons supplied by the *U.S.
government*
<http://www.thenewamerican.com/departments/feature/2000/092400.htm>.
Then-President *George Herbert Walker "Poppy" Bush* gives his former best
buddy Saddam the surprise of a lifetime by going on the TV and calling him
a *Hitler*, vowing to protect Saudi Arabia and liberate Kuwait, by any
means necessary. So America sets up base in Riyadh, near the Muslim holy
city of Mecca, which severely pisses off*Osama Bin Laden*, a Saudi who'd
been among the thousands trained and equipped by the C.I.A. to fight a
terror war against Soviet troops in Afghanistan. The subsequent slaughter
of *Desert Storm* - resulting in the deaths of over 25,000 Iraqi combatants
and 200,000 Iraqi civilians - pisses off Osama even MORE. The rest, as they
say, is an incredibly depressing, textbook case of *BLOWBACK*
<http://www.thirdworldtraveler.com/Blowback_CJohnson/Blowback_CJohnson.html>
.

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On this day in *1991*, funkadelic super-freak *Rick James* and his equally
super-freaky girlfriend *Manya Hijazi* are arrested on sexual torture and
kidnapping charges after one of their sex slaves escapes from their
basement/sex dungeon. James was found guilty and was released in 1996,
after which he began his second career as a regularly featured performer on
tabloid TV "Where are they now?" segments. James, who died on August 6,
2004, is best remembered for his catch-phrase: "I'm Rick James, bitch!",
which was actually coined by stand-up comic *Dave Chappelle*.
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