ParaCalendar for Aug 10

[Mark Thibodeau]

<http://assets.nydailynews.com/polopoly_fs/1.1133327!/img/httpImage/image.jpg_gen/derivatives/landscape_635/390-sam10n-635x390-victims.jpg>

On this day in *1755*, under the orders of *Charles Lawrence*, the British
Army begins to forcibly deport the Acadians from Nova Scotia to the
Thirteen Colonies.

***

On this day in the year *1866*, the Transatlantic Telegraph Cable - one of
mankind's greatest technological triumphs - is finally completed. Once he's
announced this milestone to the American people, President *James
Buchanan* proceeds
to spend the rest of the day masturbating furiously while engaging in
"morse-code-sex" with *Queen Victoria*.

***

On this day in *1948*, the TV show *Candid Camera* makes its television
debut after being on radio for a year as *Candid Microphone*. Hardly seems
possible, does it?

***

On this day in *1977*, in Yonkers, New York, 24-year-old postal employee *David
Berkowitz* – better known as the *Son of Sam* – is arrested for a series of
killings in the New York City area over the period of one year.

***

On this day in *1981*, the severed head of six-year-old *Adam Walsh* is
found by two fishermen in a Florida canal. The rest of Adam’s body was
never recovered. Adam’s kidnapping and murder - possibly by serial killer *Otis
Toole* - inspired the creation of the television series *America's Most
Wanted*, which was hosted by Adam’s father, *John Walsh*, for over two
decades.

***

On this day in *1987*, the Dow Jones Industrial Average breaks through the
elusive *2,600 point* ceiling for the first time ever. Of course, what goes
up must eventually come down, and if shit keeps hitting fan, we may well
live to see 2,600 again. My advice for riding out the coming storm? Sink
all your capital in ammunition, gas generators and out-of-the-way real
estate.
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