PARACULTURAL CALENDAR FOR AUGUST 16

[Mark Thibodeau]

<http://31.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_ln9pj20rZX1qbsieho1_500.jpg>

On this day in *1869*, a Paraguayan battalion made up of children is
massacred by the Brazilian Army during the Paraguayan War.

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On this day in *1896*, three prospectors named *Skookum Jim Mason*, *George
Carmack* and *Dawson Charlie*discover gold in a tributary of the Klondike
River in Canada, setting off the Klondike Gold Rush.

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*Carl Panzram*, one of the most unapologetically evil fuckers ever to roam
the planet, is arrested for the last time in his miserable, misbegotten
life on this day in *1928*. Born to a couple of Minnesota dirt farmers,
Carl got off to a rolling start when he was incarcerated for public
drunkenness at the ripe old age of eight years old. From that point on, his
life would be half-spent in Christian correctional schools, county lockups
and state penitentiaries. The other half of his life was devoted to theft,
arson, forced buggery, child rape, serial thrill-killing... you name the
evil deed, and Panzram was an authority. During the course of his long
career as an almost elemental force for evil, he plied his Satanic trade on
four continents, murdering untold numbers of victims, including six men in
one day, whom he killed during a crocodile hunt in Africa. Truly, Carl
Panzram was *too evil to live.*
<http://www.crimelibrary.com/serial_killers/history/carl_panzram/index.htm>

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On this day in *1966*, the House Un-American Activities Committee (HUAC)
begins investigations of Americans who have aided the Viet Cong. The
committee intends to introduce legislation making these activities illegal.
Anti-war demonstrators disrupt the meeting and 50 people are arrested.

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On this day in *1974*, Punk Rock pioneers *The Ramones* play their first
show in a local New York club named CBGB.

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On this day in the year *1977*, *Elvis Presley*, the King of Rock and Roll,
dies on his throne when his heart explodes from overstraining while trying
to squeeze out a grey, cement-like loaf of hardened, compacted shit from
his colon. I've always thought that it would have been fitting to bury the
parasitic *Doctor Nick* and *the Colonel* with Elvis, much like in Ancient
Egypt, where the most loyal servants of Pharoah used be be buried alive
with their masters.

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On this day in *1989*, a solar flare from the Sun creates a geomagnetic
storm that affects micro chips, leading to a halt of all trading on
Toronto's stock market.

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On this day in *2010*, China Overtakes Japan as World's Second-Biggest
Economy

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On this day in *2012*, in one of the worst anti-labor atrocities of
contemporary times, South African police fatally shoot 34 miners and wound
78 more during an industrial dispute near Rustenburg. This happened just
one year ago, folks, not in the 1890's.
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