Paracultural Calendar for Feb 2

[Mark Thibodeau]

On this day in *1536*, explorer *Pedro de Mendoza* discovers the Argentine
city of Buenos Aires. He is particularly impressed by the discos.

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On this day in *1653*, the city of New Amsterdam (later renamed The City of
New York) is incorporated.

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On this day in *1848*, the first ship with Chinese immigrants arrives in
San Francisco for the California Gold Rush.

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On this day in *1852*, the first British public men's restroom opens on
Fleet Street, in London. Minutes after the groundbreaking ceremony, the
first ever anonymous gay public restroom blowjob takes place.

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 On this day in *1878*, Greece declares war on Turkey. Sounds like
Thanksgiving dinner at Chateau LeBoeuf!

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On this day in *1882*, a bunch of Catholic guys who are jealous of the
Freemasons start their own "secret society" - the *Knights of Columbus* -
in New Haven, Connecticut. Their greatest achievement so far? Getting
"under God" inserted into the Pledge of Allegiance in the 1950's, then
convincing everybody that it's been there all along.

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On this day in *1887*, in Punxsutawney, Pennsylvania the first *Groundhog
Day* is observed.

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On this day in *1893*, the first ever "money shot" (a.k.a. close-up of a
biological function) takes place when an Edison Studios cameraman captures
a sneeze on film.

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On this day in *1901*, the funeral of *Queen Victoria* takes place.

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On this day in *1922*, the novel *Ulysses* by *James Joyce* is published.

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On this day in *1933*, 2 days after becoming chancellor, and 1 day after
promising not to dissolve the German parliament… *Adolf Hitler* dissolves
the German parliament. The moral of the story? Never change your country's
constitution to allow an Austrian immigrant to become head of state!

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The *G.I. Joe* line of action dolls for boys debuts on this day in *1964*.
Sales are brisk until early 1972, when an entire platoon is found guilty of
committing war crimes during the siege of Leggo Land, including the wanton
slaughter of over a hundred unarmed Weebles and multiple Kewpie Doll rapes.

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On this day in *1971*, dictator *Idi Amin* replaces President *Milton Obote* as
leader of Uganda.

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On this day in the year *1977*, Radio Shack begin production on their
groundbreaking *TRS-80*computer. Costing a mere TWO THOUSAND DOLLARS, these
machines could display two (count'em!) colors, divide a twelve-digit number
in ten minutes flat, and only weighed about FIFTY FUCKIN' POUNDS. "Good old
days," my fat white ass!

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On this day in *1980*, reports surface that the FBI is targeting allegedly
corrupt Congressmen in the*Abscam* operation. Learn a bit about this in the
currently popular *American Hustle* motion picture film.

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On this day in *1986*, the *Dalai Lama* confronts *Pope John Paul II* in
India. Their meeting went something like the Saruman / Gandalf
confrontation in the movie version of The Lord of the Rings: Fellowship of
the Ring.

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On this day in *1990*, South African leader *F.W. de Klerk* announces the
unbanning of the African National Congress and promises to release *Nelson
Mandela*.
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