Paracultural Calendar for Feb 16

[Mark Thibodeau]

On this day in the year *600*, *Pope Gregory* declares that the correct
response to a sneeze is "God bless You." It would be another
thirteen-hundred plus years before the Vatican decreed the proper response
to a fart, which, as we all know, is: "Nice one!"

***

On this day in *1852*, the *Studebaker Brothers* wagon company, precursor
of the automobile manufacturer, is established.

***

On this day in *1923*, after a 30-year search, *Howard Carter *penetrates *King
Tut*'s long-sealed tomb in Egypt's Valley of Kings. He was the first human
being to lay eyes on the dead boy king in nearly three millennia. Grave
robbing + 3000 years = legitimate archeology!

***

On this day in *1943*, members of the *White Rose*
<http://www.whiterosesociety.org/> student society in Munich paint the
words "Out with Hitler!" and "Hitler is a murderer!" and "Long live
freedom!" on a prominent, well-traveled overpass. On February 18, the
tight-knit group of student activists is apprehended after a groundskeeper,
who was also a Nazi party member, sees them passing out anti-Hitler
leaflets on campus. On February 22, after a show trial, they are all
executed by guillotine. They remain an inspiration to all who struggle in
the name of truth and justice against impossible odds.

***

On this day in *1960*, the U.S. Navy submarine *USS Triton* begins
Operation Sandblast, setting sail from New London, Connecticut, to begin
the first submerged circumnavigation of the globe.

***

On this day in *1978*, the first computer Bulletin Board System (BBS) is
established in Chicago. A truly pioneering presence at the time, *Ward
Christian* and *Randy Suess*'s *CBBS* <http://www.portcommodore.com/> mostly
featured ASCII images of *Mister Spock* and bestiality porn.

***

On this day in *1982*, *Lee "Six Million Dollar Man" Majors* and *Farrah
"Six Million Dollar Hair" Fawcett* get a divorce, about five years too late
for anybody to give a damn.

***

*Happy Birthday, Hezbollah!* The anti-Zionist paramilitary org is
inaugurated on this day in *1985*.

***

On this day in *1987*, the trial of *John Demjanjuk*, accused of being a
Nazi guard dubbed "Ivan the Terrible" in Treblinka extermination camp,
starts in Jerusalem.

***

On this day in *1992*, the Los Angeles Lakers retire *Magic Johnson*'s #32
uniform... because it has AIDS.

***

On this day in *2005*, the *Kyoto Protocol* comes into force, following its
ratification by Russia. Today, it's all but dead, as even nations like
Australia and Canada have begun backing out.
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