Paracultural Calendar for Feb 17

[Mark Thibodeau]

On this day in *1600*, the philosopher *Giordano Bruno* is burned alive,
for heresy, at Campo de' Fiori in Rome.

***

On this day in *1621*, *Myles Standish* is appointed as first commander of
Plymouth colony.

***

On this day in *1864*, the Confederate submarine *HL Hunley* sends the
Union ship *Housatonic* to a watery grave. It's the first time in history
that a ship is sunk by submarine, and it remained the Confederacy's
proudest moment until the presidential "elections" of *2000*.

***

On this day in *1913*, the *New York Armory Show* introduces Americans to
some of the finest masterpieces of the *Modern Art* movement. The show was
going well until the moment a monocle-sporting, cigar-chomping,
top-hat-wearing plutocrat inquired about purchasing *Picasso*'s *Guitare *to
use as gift-wrapping paper.

***

On this day in *1933*, the *Blaine Act* ends *Prohibition* in the United
States.

***

On this day in *1958*, cartoonist *Johnny Hart*'s prehistoric-themed comic
strip *B.C.* premieres. A stickler for historical accuracy, Hart insisted
on using only authentic, Stone Age jokes.

***

On this day in *1964*, the United States Supreme Court rules that 1 man = 1
vote. Conservatives were outraged, and have yet to "get over it."

***

On this day in *1972*, sales of the Volkswagen Beetle exceed those of the
Ford Model-T.

***

On this day in *1989*, *Whitesnake* front-man *David Coverdale* marries
"actress" *Tawny Kitaen*. Unfortunately, tragedy strikes when three members
of the wedding party succumb to the toxic fog of industrial strength
hairspray that had accumulated in the poorly-ventilated cathedral.

***

On this day in *1996*, in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, world champion *Garry
Kasparov* beats the *Deep Blue* supercomputer in a chess match.

***

On this day in *1998*, Aryan Nations "lieutenant" *Larry Wayne Harris* and
his buddy, *Bill Levitt*, are arrested in Las Vegas after bragging about
having enough anthrax to "kill every human being in the city." They
actually had anthrax vaccine, but that's beside the point. Three years
previous to this arrest, Harris - a self-proclaimed former CIA agent and
author of a book that has been described as a "How To" manual for
bioterrorists - was arrested for using fraudulent means to acquire bubonic
plague. He kept the vials of deadly germs - which had been delivered to him
via Federal Express - in the glove compartment of his car. Whotta guy!

***

On this day in *2000*, the sharp-eyed ultra-right-wing
lunatic-fringe-dwellers at *FreeRepublic.com *were quick to spot *SATAN
HIMSELF* at a Democratic Candidates Debate held at the historical Apollo
Theater in Harlem. The collection of genuine hate-mongers who hang out
there actually had "serious" discussions about what, exactly, this
"demonic" image meant. Was it put there by the Democrats themselves, as
some sort of subliminal threat to the voting public?! Or was *Gawd
Almighty, Himself*, trying to warn the nation about the Democrats' evil,
baby-killin' ways?! You, dear reader, be the judge!
-------------- next part --------------
An HTML attachment was scrubbed...
URL: <http://waste.org/pipermail/pynchon-l/attachments/20150218/51f203fc/attachment.html>